“Now and then a serious drinker being dry at the moment says “I don’t miss it at all, feel better, and work better, having a better time”. As ex problem drinkers we smile at such a folly. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He presently will try the old game again for he isn’t happy about his sobriety” – pg 154 big book of Alcoholics Anonymous
When it comes to alcoholics many of us at one point and time are like the boy whistling in the dark. We fool ourselves and others into believing we are done drinking for good. We might preach about it to our friends and family. We might go around telling everyone how well we are doing or how happy we are yet we are still spiritually bankrupt on the inside and before long we end up drinking and wondering how this happened again. We are baffled and cannot understand why our resolution was a failure like it says in the big book ‘I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control. These men were not drinking to escape. They were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight.
So even though we meant it with all of our heart that we would quit drinking and or using we returned not because we are weak but because we had a craving beyond our mental control. A craving that we would surrender to time and time again until we used the tools.
If you relate to any of this and are looking for help, you are not alone. You can start today. You can research alcohol and drug rehab blogs like this one and find a California Alcohol rehab and you don’t need to worry too much about cost. Today, there are many affordable rehabs and rehabs that take insurance.
May you truly find a new freedom and a new happiness!