Finding Freedom in Steps Four and Five

“Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defect; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak times in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to god, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. This is perhaps difficult- especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves”. – Pg.72 Into Action from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Looking at the things we have done prior to receiving alcohol addiction help as well as sharing it with another person can be terrifying. Many of us have done things we are so ashamed of that we swear we will take them to the grave. With that being said the main hope is that by the time we get to this step there has been a good amount of time sober and we have done the work in a drug addiction detox, AA, or 30 day rehab program so that despite our fears we are able to walk through them, do this step, and come out the other side. Within the fourth and fifth step lies huge relief and freedom. It is these steps that allow us to overcome anything and be okay with who we are and what we have done in the past. These are the steps that show us not only how to forgive other but also how to forgive ourselves.

Working With Another Alcoholic

“If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can- if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it.” – Pg.92 Working With Others, from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When talking to people about this disease and the potential need for alcohol addiction help it is important that we don’t preach or recite lines from the big book. Instead we can share our experience, strength, and hope and talk about their options as far as a drug addiction detox, AA, 30 day rehab program, and other treatment options are concerned. We are there to be of service not to try and convince the person that they are an alcoholic and need help. It is also imperative that we do not diagnose others for it is necessary that we come to that conclusion on our own. Within this realization come enough pain, desperation, surrender, and willingness to get us to do the work needed to get and stay sober. It is only when we are standing at that turning point in our lives that we have a fighting chance at recovery. It is a life full of promise, hope, and joy and we would not want to rob anyone of this journey.

Happiness and Continuously Working the Steps

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society from life itself. As we became subjects of king alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding, companionship, and approval momentarily we did then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous four horsemen terror, bewilderment, frustration, despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand! Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, ”I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time.” As ex-problem drinkers we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old games again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety.” – Pg.152 from a vision for you from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is imperative that we continuously work the steps. For us alcoholics becoming complacent with step work will mean that we will end up like the boy whistling in the dark. No matter how hard we try when we are dry and not working a program we are unable to keep up our spirits. We become restless irritable and discontent and there is little hope unless we turn it over and do the work. It’s one thing to seek out alcohol addiction help. It’s another to go the extra mile and actually apply the principles to our lives. Weather we go to a 30 day rehab, AA, or drug addiction detox we must continue working on ourselves or we will surely drink. These places are not a cure all, or a quick fix. Sobriety is something that a) we must participate in and b) we must continuously work on in order to continue growing. If we keep at this we can go on to live a happy and healthy life.

Getting Sober and Making Amends

“Just how and when we tell the truth – or keep silent- can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. Step nine of AAs program emphatically cautions us against misusing the truth when it states: “made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.” Because it points up the fact that the truth can be used to injure as well as to heal, this valuable principle certainly has a wide- ranging application to the problem of developing integrity.”  – pg. 261 from The Language Of The Heart.

After we seek alcohol addiction help, start doing the work, and get ready to make amends it is important that we have a clear understanding on what we are doing. It is also important that we do not cause further harm in order to make ourselves feel better. When we go into a drug addiction detox, AA , or a 30 day rehab program we are given the tools needed to not only make a proper amends but also to continue living a healthy and happy sober lifestyle. When we go to make amends it is important that we stick to our side of the street. Stating what the harm was that we caused, and attempting to make it better. With that being said we do not get to make amends that will end up further hurting the person. For example if we gossip about somebody behind their back and we know for a fact it hasn’t gotten back to them we don’t get to go up to them and make amends by sharing the hurtful things we said. Instead, we make amends through changing our actions and move forward while trying to continuously be aware of our actions and how they might affect us, our sobriety, and others.

1 of 12 – Your First Step Toward Recovery

The foundation of AA is centered around the 12 steps. Step 1 states: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” This, along with the other 12 steps is read aloud at each and every AA meeting. Without a solid understanding of the 1st step, the eleven following it are virtually unusable. Just as a house is built from the ground up, so must your recovery be constructed from a solid base.

1 – Begin your introduction by participating in your first AA meeting. 12 step recovery programs encourage new members to introduce themselves before the group while providing information regarding their current sobriety period. If you’ve ever watched a hour of television, you likely know the drill… “Hello. My name is __________, and I’m an alcoholic.” Hi __________! Etc. Quick, simple, easy, done.

2 – Grab yourself an AA book and read through the entire Step 1 chapter. Make this a daily routine for your first 30 days.

3 – Take a moment to immerse yourself in the first word of the text: We. AA is an organization that works to remove alcoholics from the isolation that typically comes with their abuse. Recognize that you are not alone in your recovery, and that in fact, your recovery will only be obtained by way of working with others.

4 – Take a look at the “44 Questions” AA pamphlet to obtain a better perspective on your addiction. Evaluate your behaviors honestly, and admit that you are unable to control your drinking.

5 – If you have yet to join an AA meeting or enter our 12 step addiction recovery program in CA, try taking one drink of alcohol a week for a 4-week period. If you are still unsure whether you are actually an alcoholic, this simple test should pose no issue. Once your month is complete, head down to a local meeting to pick up a white chip. This chip signifies a desire to give AA a try, and maintain sobriety for that day.

6 – Write it all out. Think back and begin penning the story of your life in an honest and sincere manner. This will serve in helping illustrate the role alcohol has been playing in your life. Sometimes it takes more than a mirror to catch a true reflection.

7 – Discuss the first step with other AA members to find out how they have worked through the 1st step. Listen carefully, and apply ideas that make sense in the scope of your recovery.

Getting The Most Of Your 12 Step Recovery Program

AA – The most widely known of the 12 step recovery programs – is based on the idea that an individual can succeed in their recovery from addiction through the process of letting go of problems they are unable to control. Members are taught to “be in the moment”, while placing their faith in a higher power to help guide their recovery. In this entry, we will offer up a few tips and tricks to help you get the most of your AA experience.

1 – Hop online and search for a local 12 step addiction recovery program in CA that is close to home and work. Though you will likely find a favorite meeting around town, it’s nice to have an idea of where you can turn in case a craving or mood should arise unexpectedly.

2 – Attend a few different meetings to gain a better understanding of your options. In some cases, it may take a few tries to locate a solid fit. Avoid becoming discouraged if you don’t find your match immediately.

3 – Once you’ve located a favorite, do your best to attend meetings regularly. If you’re fairly new to the program, you’ll want to make a concerted effort to attend 90 meetings during your first 90 days.

4 – Look and nail down a sponsor. A sponsor should be a longtime member who is able to guide you through the program, while offering support and encouragement throughout your recovery. If you ever find yourself in a tight spot… this will be the person you call.

5 – Get involved, and ask how you can contribute to the organization! Positions can include anything from conducting a meeting from time to time to traveling as a representative. The more involved in the program you are, the more devoted you will be to maintaining your sobriety.

6 – Make a point to read the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” and other types of organization literature on a daily basis… especially in cases where you are unable to attending meetings in person.

7 – When you find yourself feeling to urge to use, or have gone through a rough day, take the time to recite the Serenity Prayer. It may seem like a trivial action initially, but the focus it brings is indisputable.

8 – Your recovery is not going to happen overnight. Know this, and take comfort in how far you’ve already come on a daily basis.

9 – Ask for help when needed. Recovery is never an easy process. If you feel the urge to use again, it’s important to put your pride away and contact someone who can help you through your situation and feelings. Whether a sponsor, addiction counselor, or friend, the simple act of reaching out is paramount in maintaining your sobriety if and when difficult situations present themselves.

10) Smile. Laugh. Love. Listen. Think happy thoughts.

If you’re searching for additional tips on maintaining your sobriety, or are interested in your available addiction treatment options, our Above It All addiction specialists are on hand now to answer your questions. Give us a call today!

Alcoholism, Agnosticism, and the Question of Faith

“Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with the question of faith.  We couldn’t duck the issue; some of us had already walked far over the bridge of reason toward the desired shore of faith.  The outlines and the promise of the new land had brought luster to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits.  Friendly hands had stretched out in welcome.  We were grateful that reason had brought us so far but somehow we couldn’t quite step ashore. Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support.  That was natural but let us thinks a little more closely.  Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith?” –pg 53 We Agnostics from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

There are times in sobriety that require a great deal of courage and faith.  For example when we first seek alcohol addiction help and make the decision to get sober or other life changes such as going to a drug rehab in California, getting a new job, moving or starting a family.  Whatever it is, change usually requires a great amount of courage and faith.  Faith that everything will be okay and that there is something better for us on the other side if we just walk through the fear.  Through AA and measures we take after drug addiction detox, we learn how to practice faith and courage. We learn that through the use of the steps and a higher power we can walk through almost any situation with grace and dignity if we choose.  We also learn to live life on life’s terms knowing that everything is exactly how it should be in that moment.  Once we have the experience with a situation we never have to be fearful of it or the unknown again.  For issues relating to our sobriety this is a great way to build up a defense against the first drink, kind of like insurance.  For example, we build experience with staying sober one day at a time.  We now know how to stay sober and it is no longer a scary foreign concept for us anymore but rather a part of our everyday life.

Uncovering the Alcoholic Ego

“Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego puncturing.” –Step 7  pg. 74 from the Twelve and Twelve

When we first receive alcohol addiction help and get sober many of us have a huge ego that we might not even be aware of. We are some of the most entitled people. We are either feeling less than or greater than others because as ourselves we are not enough but When we go to a 30 day rehab or AA a shift happens. After drug addiction detox we learn how to live life sober. When we work the steps we become “right sized”. We no longer have to act on fear and ego. We cease fighting everything and everyone because we don’t need to .We are able to see beyond our wants and needs, we are able to see the bigger picture, and what is best for us and our fellows as opposed to just us. We can start looking at how everyone can win instead of just being out to get ours. As a result of this we gain a beautiful and fulfilling life full of amazing friends. Our broken friendships are repaired, and we are finally right with ourselves and our higher power. Things come together in ways unimaginable, and we lose interest in ourselves and gain interest in our fellows. This is beneficial at every stage of our sobriety because when I’m worried or concerned with you and your life then I’m not wrapped up with me and my problems and can finally experience peace.

Blessings in Sobriety, Part Two

When we get sober most of us have resentments we have held on to our whole lives. Many of us are not too happy about being an alcoholic and feel like we were dealt a bad hand. While others may have a hard time seeing past the difficulties of staying sober after receiving alcohol addiction help. Shortly after getting sober either by ourselves or through some sort of California alcohol rehab we are able to clean up our wreckage and the fog begins to lift. Either through AA or an addiction program in Los Angeles we are shown how to work the steps, and begin to feel relief. After working the steps we can then go on to live happy, joyous, and free lives. As it says in the big book we are rocketed into the fourth dimension of existence. As a result of our freedom we are finally able to know what happiness is in the truest sense of the word and are able to see how blessed we are. Often times we look at our glass as half empty only being able to see what we don’t have or the opportunities we have missed out on but what we don’t understand is that those things we don’t have, those missed opportunities , or those moments we don’t get what we want are actually blessings. They are blessings because it just means that our higher power is making room for something far greater than any little plans we might have made for ourselves. As its said in AA “if you want to make God laugh make plans.”

Blessings in Sobriety Part One

“That he has no attitude of holier than thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endure- these are the condition we have found most effective. After such as approach many take up their beds and walk again… we feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations, and affairs. If we keep on the route we are going there is little doubt that much good will result.” – pg 18-19 There Is a Solution from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Through research we might stumble upon an affordable rehab, or read drug rehab blogs and realize that we too have just as good of a chance as others to recover. For most alcoholics we are so broken and lost that even the hope that we might be able to recover in itself is a blessing. Some of us come in and don’t know where to go for drug addiction detox, but once we find a place and get sober we realize we are much more blessed than we thought. We gain a group of friends and a support group. Loneliness fades and is replaced with love and happiness. Some of us go on to have families, go back to school, get our dream job, or our dream life even, but more importantly than any of that is the new set of thoughts, feelings, and actions we have available to us. We are no longer victims or full of self-pity. We come to learn how to love ourselves and others, as well as how to be comfortable in our own skin. Before we know it our lives and ourselves become much bigger than those people who came in just hoping to be able to survive long enough to get sober.