Privacy and Anonymity in Recovery

“We families of alcoholics anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others’ alcoholic troubles. This is a condition, which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Among us, these are rare occurrences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize to laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism and ridicule coming from another often produce the contrary effect”. – Pg125 The Family Afterward from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is one thing to share our experience, strength, and hope with someone who is looking for alcohol addiction help but it is a totally different story in regards to sharing others experiences. It is neither our right nor our responsibility to do so. If there is something we don’t have experience with and we wish to help someone by sharing someone else’s experience then we need to make it a point to ask that person if it is okay. In Los Angeles rehabs, AA, and other rehab programs in California we are taught to respect people’s privacy and boundaries. Keeping things confidential is of the utmost importance so that everyone can feel safe especially while working the steps. We all have a right to be here and to share our experience with the people we choose to. It is important that we don’t gossip but instead that we are sharing in order to carry the message to the newcomer so that they know that there is an alternative to living the way they are living.

A Spiritual Experience or a Spiritual Awakening?

“The terms “spiritual experience” and “spiritual awakening” are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.  Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous. In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming  “God-consciousness” followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook. Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule.” Appendix ll Spiritual Experience from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

While a spiritual experience is necessary the first place to start is by seeking alcohol addiction help and working the steps. When we go to a 30 day rehab program, AA, or drug addiction detox we are given the tools necessary to do the work required of us in order to have a spiritual experience and stay sober. Many alcoholics in recovery are waiting for that burning bush experience. Sometimes when we are new and hear the word spiritual experience we expect that we will be smacked down with spirituality and fixed. That is not the case. Have there been some people who have claimed to have that experience? Yes! But there is also the spiritual experience of the subtle variety. The fact that over time we get better in itself is amazing. At some point in our recovery we are able to look back at the changes that have occurred in our lives, the emotional recovery, and an entire psychic change that has happened to us all of this combined is a spiritual experience. If you stick around you too will be able to have one and share in the gifts, joy, happiness, and freedom that comes from this life.

Getting Help When You Cannot Stop Drinking

“At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected. The fact is that most alcoholics, for some reason yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. The certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us.” – Pg. 24 There Is A Solution, the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Many of us are completely beat down by this disease long before we realize we have a problem and need alcohol addiction help. At this point have lost our ability to control and enjoy our drinking and the days of social drinking and fun nights have become a distant memory. After years of drinking we are most likely at a place where we lost the choice to drink or not and are simply drinking because we have to. It has become our medicine and solution. Our only hope for a way out of this “tragic situation” is to go to a rehab that takes insurance, AA , or some other form of drug addiction detox. It is only after we get help and recover that we are able to do the work it takes to heal the wreckage we have caused in ours and others lives. If we are fortunate to get this far then we have a fighting chance at having an amazing life and reaping the benefits/blessings that a life in sobriety has to offer.

The Alcoholic Inability to Control Drinking

“Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count. How true this is, few realize. In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will. The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive. He has lost control.” – Pg.23 -24 There Is A Solution, the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

The fact is that we as alcoholics do not know why we take that first drink, can’t stop, and need alcohol addiction help in order to get sober any more than the next person does. It feels at times like we are beating our heads against a brick wall by doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. We see the wreckage that is a direct result of our drinking yet we cannot seem to put the bottle down. Perhaps it’s the obsession that we can eventually drink normally combined with the phenomenon of craving that keeps us going. Our thoughts more than anything are a lethal combination that keeps us entangled in this disease and we have no hope of recovering until we go to a drug addiction detox, AA, or an affordable rehab. As it states in this excerpt from there is a solution “the happy day may not arrive”. Many of us do not make it but if you recognize that you might have a problem, and are willing to get help then you have a fighting chance at beating this disease and living happy, joyous, and free.

Alcoholism and the Mind

“We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby starting the cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc alcoholics drinking bout creates.” – pg. 22-23 There Is A Solution from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

As it states in the big book alcoholism is a disease that centers in the mind and not in the body. If the phenomenon of craving, followed by the mental mindset that takes place were not present and it was purely a bodily problem then we could just stop drinking and would never need to go to a 30 day rehab program, AA, or  drug addiction detox because we would be able to control our drinking with willpower alone. This disease is not a matter of being weak willed but rather we suffer from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Because of this we need to seek out alcohol addiction help in order to recover. If we do get help and do the work needed to stay sober we have a chance of clearing up the wreckage of our past, repairing broken relationships, and we can go onto live an amazing life full of joy, love, excitement, happiness, fun and freedom .

Self-Destructive Patterns of Alcoholism

“He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself. And then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced the night before.” – Pg.21 – There Is A Solution from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

If any of this rings true for you then you might need alcohol addiction help. There are many services available ranging anywhere from drug addiction detox to AA, and 30 day rehab programs. This excerpt from there is a solution is a perfect description of the alcoholic’s life when they are wrapped up in the bondage of this disease as well as the destruction that is a result of it. We become extremely introverted, our world becomes very small, and we are left spiritually bankrupt. These alcoholic characteristics and patterns end up robbing us of everything good in our lives and we are left with no choice but to keep drinking, and give up or get sober. If we are lucky enough to get sober then we have the opportunity to turn it all around, start over, and get back to our true selves. We are finally able to be the loving, honest, responsible, happy, joyous, and free beings that we were meant to be.

Working With Another Alcoholic

“If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can- if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it.” – Pg.92 Working With Others, from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When talking to people about this disease and the potential need for alcohol addiction help it is important that we don’t preach or recite lines from the big book. Instead we can share our experience, strength, and hope and talk about their options as far as a drug addiction detox, AA, 30 day rehab program, and other treatment options are concerned. We are there to be of service not to try and convince the person that they are an alcoholic and need help. It is also imperative that we do not diagnose others for it is necessary that we come to that conclusion on our own. Within this realization come enough pain, desperation, surrender, and willingness to get us to do the work needed to get and stay sober. It is only when we are standing at that turning point in our lives that we have a fighting chance at recovery. It is a life full of promise, hope, and joy and we would not want to rob anyone of this journey.

Why Do Alcoholics Drink Differently?

“This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this description should identify him roughly. Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can’t he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters? Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle. “- pg.22 There Is A Solution from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Many people including ourselves are baffled by our drinking. We see others drink with impunity yet when we try to it usually ends in negative consequences. While we need alcohol addiction help through California rehab centers, AA, drug addiction detox, or sober livings normal drinkers can just stop drinking if there are consequences or even if they don’t like the way it makes them feel. We on the other hand cannot. In other words we are powerless. There is something in us that makes us forget about the negative effects alcohol has had on our lives. It becomes something we need. Instead of a choice it becomes a necessity for us. The only way out of this disease is either through jails, institutions, death, or recovery. If we choose recovery then we must be willing to do the work necessary to live life sober. If we fail to accept that we are powerless over alcohol then we will not be prepared to stay sober. However if we admit we are powerless, turn our lives over, and do the work we can then go on to live a happy, joyous, and free life.

Moderate vs. Alcoholic Drinking

“Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone. Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason- ill health, falling in love, a change of environment or the warning of a doctor-becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention. But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption once he starts to drink.” – pg. 21 There Is A Solution from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

There is a section in the big book that says “If you can drink like a gentleman then our hats are off to you.” Chances are if we are looking for alcohol addiction help and answers to the reasons why we drink the way we do and how to stop it is probably safe to say that we are probably already aware of the fact that we fall under the last category of being a “real alcoholic” If you find that when you drink it is impossible to stop or your boundaries around drinking suddenly go out the window then it is most likely you suffer from this disease too. So where do you go from here? There are several options when it comes to getting sober. There Is California alcohol rehab, AA, sober livings, and other affordable rehabs just to name a few. After deciding which is best for you and doing the work involved in getting and staying sober the healing and rehabilitation process starts. In sobriety not only do you have the opportunity to heal all the areas in your life which had been broken but if you continue on this path you can go onto live a happy, joyous, free, and fun filled life.

The Alcoholic Addict, Resentments, and Inventory

“We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it. In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test-was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. Whatever our ideals turns out to be , we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in doing so.” pg. 69 How It Works, from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is imperative as alcoholics that we review our conduct on a regular basis so that we can amend our behavior. It is easy for us especially prior to receiving alcohol addiction help to come from a place of selfishness, and self-seeking. This often times results in lack of consideration for others. When we act without consciousness it can be hurtful to others. Many of us have spent most of our drinking days running through people’s lives like tornados. When we go through a drug addiction detox, AA, a 30 day rehab program, and get sober we are given the tools needed not to do this anymore, we learn what it means to live on an altruistic plane, and we shape our ideals. When shaping our ideals it is not just limited to sex it can be applicable to several areas of our lives. We take a look at how we want to be in all our relationships and also look closely at the kind of relationships we want in our lives romantic or not. After we do this we turn it over to a power greater than ourselves and make an effort to get as close to those ideals as possible. When we fall short we make it right. As long as we try our best and keep our side of the street clean we will be able to experience the gifts and grace that this program and lifestyle has to offer.