Many times previous to our getting sober, we have done damage to the relationships with our families. In the midst of drinking and/or using we set fire to the bridges that brought us here. The relationships we have sacrificed, many times, are the people closest to us and that usually means our families and closest of friends.
When we begin the process of our journey to living a sober life, perhaps our families of origin and/or our families of choice, i.e. close friends, don’t have any semblance of trust nor are they immediately inclined to rekindle what was broken and, subsequently, lost. They are skeptical at best. There are times when, the pain and betrayal we may have caused them supersedes their wanting anything to do with us after such personal attacks, be they direct or inadvertent.
In the throes of our alcoholism and/or addiction we may not only haves set fire to said bridges but, perhaps, we insured our separation by pouring gasoline on the stick of dynamite we threw into the burning flames. We cannot expect that just because we are in early sobriety that everything that came before is immediately wiped away and our slate is instantly clean. We have to recognize and take stock of where we have done wrong and what we can do to amend and rectify the situation(s) at hand.
To rebuild the trust and love in our families can become extremely important as we develop our support network. Support for family of addicts is one of the major benefits of many residential treatment centers in California. Time, however begrudgingly we may find this idea, is often the healer of circumstance and can offer us and the people with whom we injured the opportunity to begin anew.
As trust was whittled away over a period of time, even if that time was mere minutes, it takes far longer to return however, fear not, the possibilities of repairing our relationships can happen. The California rehab centers give us a firsthand view of how to begin reweaving our threadbare fabric of understanding and trust with our families. It is not impossible; however, it simply does not occur overnight. The road is long but through our actions, not just our words, will yield the signposts that lead the way for our friends and family to return.