“We want to find exactly how, when and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for us.” – Alcoholics Anonymous’ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pg. 43
Warped natural desires and emotional deformities are difficult concepts to not only grasp, but to own. We don’t want to believe there’s anything wrong with us. Who wants to think any of us are, as the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous states on pg. 30, “bodily and mentally different from his fellows.”
However, truth be told, we are different. We absorb information differently. We assess our environments differently and many times, we are very sensitive to anything we perceive might be about ourselves, which, more often than not, is nearly every sentence and situation with which we come into contact.
This is not a viable plan for living. If we constantly think we are the subject of every conversation and the target of every casual glance, how would that thinking not be warped and deformed? We, as alcoholics and addicts, are, by definition, selfish creatures. In our selfishness, our emotional capacity is stunted and our ability to grasp and process information is stilted. We cannot adequately function in the world, much less strive within our own lives and the lives of those around us. This is not a sturdy platform on which we stand, it is a balancing act on a house of cards on a windy day.
It is suggested we find out how, when and where we have gone astray. It is with this knowledge that we may ask to be relieved of these burdens, this bondage of self, by whatever Power greater than ourselves to which we’ve connected. If we do not face this information, how can we ever receive the grace that awaits us and live life in a dignified, upright, helpful fashion? Finding these facts may seem arduous however they could very well be the key that fits the lock of a life worthwhile.