Many times, as we dig further into our Recovery, we realize that fear has been driving us. Fear of losing people, places, things and/or fear of never getting those things initially or fear of actually having them. Whatever it is or has been, many times it’s been fear holding the reins, driving us on.
How can we combat this inner terror, the terror of being seen as vulnerable, aching human beings? Where do we find a new way in which to approach the world and the people in it?
First, we have to find from where this fear stems. More often than not, it is so deep-seated, ingrained so thoroughly that only through fearlessly looking at where we have been, and what has upset us so, can we find a way through it. Many of us have used fear as the propeller by which we pilot our planes. It moves us further toward justifying our taking a drink or a drug, even though we are long since well aware of the catastrophic damage from the crash and burn of that jetliner missing the runway entirely.
The path through fear can seem scary in and of itself. The 4th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous, where we make “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” may loom over us, casting a dark shadow upon even initially embarking on a passage way to sobriety. Let us not have fear prior to investigation. It is a task that is simply a fact-finding mission designed to free us of our resentments, our fears and the way in which these have dictated our existence up until now. The completion of this task can let us meet the world with backs straight, eyes forward and hands extended.