Happiness and Continuously Working the Steps

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society from life itself. As we became subjects of king alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding, companionship, and approval momentarily we did then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous four horsemen terror, bewilderment, frustration, despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand! Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, ”I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time.” As ex-problem drinkers we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old games again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety.” – Pg.152 from a vision for you from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is imperative that we continuously work the steps. For us alcoholics becoming complacent with step work will mean that we will end up like the boy whistling in the dark. No matter how hard we try when we are dry and not working a program we are unable to keep up our spirits. We become restless irritable and discontent and there is little hope unless we turn it over and do the work. It’s one thing to seek out alcohol addiction help. It’s another to go the extra mile and actually apply the principles to our lives. Weather we go to a 30 day rehab, AA, or drug addiction detox we must continue working on ourselves or we will surely drink. These places are not a cure all, or a quick fix. Sobriety is something that a) we must participate in and b) we must continuously work on in order to continue growing. If we keep at this we can go on to live a happy and healthy life.

Sobriety and Spiritual Awakening

“The greatest gift that can come to anybody is a spiritual awakening. Without doubt this would be the certain verdict of every well-recovered alcoholic in AA’S entire fellowship. So, then, what is this “spiritual awakening,” this “transforming experience”? How can we receive it and what does it do? To begin with, a spiritual awakening is our means of finding sobriety. And to us of AA sobriety means life itself. We know that a spiritual experience is the key to survival from alcoholism and that for most of us it is the only key. We must awake or we die…Little by little I woke up to the possibility that God hadn’t put me on earth  for the purpose of getting all the money, prestige, and romance that I could lay my hands on. I finally had to face the fact that I would have to settle for less, a lot less. And If I couldn’t accept this, I’d probably get drunk again”. –pg. 232-235 from The Language of the Heart

As it states in our 12th step “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all of our affairs”. This means that it is highly unlikely to have the kind of spiritual awakening they are referring to in the language of the heart without first asking for alcohol addiction help, getting sober either through a drug addiction detox, AA, or some sort of 30 day rehab program, and working the steps. Furthermore without working the steps and having some sort of spiritual awakening we cannot carry the message to others. After all, we cannot transmit something we haven’t got. If we stop carrying the message to others as well as discontinue working the steps we as a fellowship will perish and without any solution we would surely lose the battle against alcoholism individually as well. When we first get sober many of us want the “stuff”. The house, job, family, and perfect life seem to be a driving factor for most of us but the longer we stay sober we realize as a result of a spiritual awakening that it’s no longer what sobriety is all about for us. We are here to greet the world and live life on an altruistic and spiritual plane.

The Alcoholic and Feelings of Inferiority

“Just 10 years ago my own mother, after years of bewilderment, lost hope. Long a chronic problem drinker, I had come to the jumping-off place. A very good doctor had pronounced the grim sentence; “obsessive drinker, deteriorating rapidly – hopeless. “The doctor used to talk about my case somewhat like this: “yes, Bill has underlying personality defects…great emotional sensitivity, childishness, and inferiority.”  This very real feeling of inferiority is magnified by his childish sensitivity and it is this state of affairs which generate in him that insatiable, abnormal craving for self – approval and success in the eyes of the world. Still a child he cries for the moon….discovering alcohol, he found much more in it than normal folks. To him alcohol is no mere relaxation; it means release-release from inner conflict….As one who knows me a little, you may have heard how, ten years ago, a friend, himself a liberated alcoholic, came to me bearing the light which finally let me out of the toils. There will come a day like that for you and yours.” – Pg.101-102 from The Language of the Heart

 

If you have battled alcoholism then you can probably relate to the above writing. Most of us do indeed experience the childishness, sensitivity, inferiority, and we definitely can identify with finding much more in alcohol than others do. It is a release for us. With that being said prior to receiving alcohol addiction help booze was also our prison. We could not stop ourselves. As you can tell Bill W. struggled with this disease, and felt just as hopeless as we do before getting sober. Just like bill we can recover too. With the help of a drug addiction detox, AA, and/or a 30 day rehab program we all have the opportunity to be released from our toils. We can overcome this disease and go on to live the kind of happy, joyous, and free life we were meant to.

Alcoholism, Addiction, and Getting Help

“We are told there are 4,500,000 alcoholics in America. Up to now (1958) AA has sobered up perhaps 250,000 of them. That’s about one in twenty, or 5 percent of the total. This is a brave beginning, full of significance and hope for those who still suffer. Yet these figures show that we have made only a fair-sized dent on this vast world health problem. Millions are still sick and other millions soon will be. These facts of alcoholism should give us a reason to think, and be humble. Surely we can be grateful for every agency or method that tries to solve the problem of alcoholism –whether of medicine, religion, education, or research. We can be open-minded toward all such efforts and we can be sympathetic when the ill-advised ones fail. We can remember that AA itself ran years on trial and error. As individual AAs, we can and should work with those that promise success-even a little success.”- pg. 184 from The Language of the Heart

Sometimes we forget how lucky we are that we received alcohol addiction help and got sober before it was too late. It is easy at times to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and in turn lack in expressing the gratitude for our recovery that it deserves. Whether we went through or need to go through a 30 day rehab program, church, AA, or a drug addiction detox the fact still remains that we are some of the few lucky ones that got another shot at life. The sad reality for us is that many of us do not make it. We get the tools to recover and go on to live a healthy and happy life while many alcoholics have not gotten that opportunity and either drink themselves to death, go insane, or are institutionalized. It is important that we take the time to appreciate our sobriety. It is important that we remember that every day is a special gift.

The Purpose of the AA Group

“Our first duty, as a society, is to insure our own survival. Therefore we have to avoid distractions and multipurpose activity. An AA group, as such, cannot take on all the personal problems of its members, let alone the problems of the whole world. Sobriety-freedom from alcohol-through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps is the sole purpose of an AA group. Groups have repeatedly tried other activities and they have always failed. It has also been learned that there is no possible way to make nonalcoholic into AA members. We have to confine our AA groups to a single purpose. If we don’t stick to these principles, we shall almost surely collapse. And if we collapse we cannot help anyone.”-pg. 223 from The Language Of The Heart

As we talked about before no one can decide weather or not you are an alcoholic. Either you are or aren’t and that choice is up to you. When seeking out alcohol addiction help there are many places we can turn. There are 30 day rehab programs, AA, as well as several other drug addiction detox programs. With that being said it is important that if we decide to go to AA that not only do we have a problem with drinking but also that we identify as alcoholics. It goes back to our first tradition, which states “our common welfare should come first. Personal recovery depends upon AA unity.” It is important that we stick to our singleness of purpose so that we can ensure the groups survival.

Growth in Sobriety

“I think that many oldsters who have put our AA “booze cure” to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA- the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God. Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance- urges quite appropriate to age seventeen- prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven or fifty-seven.”- pg. 236 from The Language Of The Heart.

When we first receive alcohol addiction help and get into recovery, a drug addiction detox, AA, or a 30 day rehab program focusing on staying sober and working the steps is enough at first. There comes a time though when we start craving more out of life, and the program we work. At that point just staying sober and not drinking isn’t enough. We must enlarge our spiritual life as well as our emotional sobriety or we will surely drink. We must set aside our ideas and expectations of ourselves, our fellows, and our higher power so that we may remain open and teachable. If we close ourselves off to learning and taking things in then we stop growing and if we stop growing we either remain stuck in the bondage of self, and become miserable or we get loaded. When we are ready we will do the work, and establish a conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves. Through that experience we can continue to enrich our sober lives not just through physical sobriety but emotional and spiritual sobriety as well.

Getting Sober and Making Amends

“Just how and when we tell the truth – or keep silent- can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. Step nine of AAs program emphatically cautions us against misusing the truth when it states: “made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.” Because it points up the fact that the truth can be used to injure as well as to heal, this valuable principle certainly has a wide- ranging application to the problem of developing integrity.”  – pg. 261 from The Language Of The Heart.

After we seek alcohol addiction help, start doing the work, and get ready to make amends it is important that we have a clear understanding on what we are doing. It is also important that we do not cause further harm in order to make ourselves feel better. When we go into a drug addiction detox, AA , or a 30 day rehab program we are given the tools needed to not only make a proper amends but also to continue living a healthy and happy sober lifestyle. When we go to make amends it is important that we stick to our side of the street. Stating what the harm was that we caused, and attempting to make it better. With that being said we do not get to make amends that will end up further hurting the person. For example if we gossip about somebody behind their back and we know for a fact it hasn’t gotten back to them we don’t get to go up to them and make amends by sharing the hurtful things we said. Instead, we make amends through changing our actions and move forward while trying to continuously be aware of our actions and how they might affect us, our sobriety, and others.

What Do I Need To Be A Member of AA?

“The first edition of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous makes this brief statement about membership: “the only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. We are not allied with any particular faith, sect, or denomination nor do we oppose anyone. We simply wish to be helpful to those who are afflicted.” This expressed our feeling as of 1939, the year our book was published. Since that day all kinds of experiments with membership have been tried…In some cases we would have been too discouraged by the demands made upon us. Most of the early members of AA would have been thrown out because they slipped too much, because their morals were too bad, because they had mental as well as alcoholic difficulties.”-pg.37 from The Language Of The Heart.

Over the next few days were going to take a look at what it means to be an alcoholic as well as some other issues surrounding this subject. Basically we are members of AA as soon as we seek alcohol addiction help and say we are. All we need is a desire to stop drinking. The word “honest” was later taken out of our statement on membership because while many of us want to stop drinking, get help at a drug addiction detox, Go to AA, go to some sort of 30 day rehab program, and make positive decisions that support our sobriety at the end of the day who has an honest desire to stop when we would still be drinking if it still worked for us? Furthermore an “honest desire” could mean so many things to so many people.so for clarity and to ensure everyone had a fair shot at achieving sobriety they took it out. Today as it stands nobody has a right to declare you alcoholic or non-alcoholic that is completely up to you to decide.

So You Had A Relapse….

Nobody ever said that recovery was an easy process. Though the notion of “not doing” something appears a simple goal, the reality behind drug and alcohol abstinence is unfortunately far more complex. If you’ve hit a bump in your recovery road, you may be wondering where your options lie, and where to turn. In this entry we will provide you with some basic instructions to help get you pointed back in the right direction.

Know that bouncing back from a relapse is no walk in the park. You’ll need to look at what triggered the relapse to occur in order to help you back onto your recovery plan ASAP. Play little mind to the shame, negativity, guilt and fear, and recommit yourself to a brighter tomorrow.

Instructions

1 – Take a long hard look at your recent relapse, taking in what lessons you can. Place a focus on what you could have done differently without beating yourself up – mistakes happen to everyone! Make a commitment to maintain sobriety for a 24-hour period, even if it means taking things by the hour.

2 – Grab a notebook and take an indicator inventory of items that may signal a potential relapse. These types of items can include anything from stress and irrational thoughts to particular behaviors or feelings. Think back to how you felt when your relapse occurred and dissect the emotions for future reference

3 – Next to each item in your indicator inventory, write out a positive coping skill to combat it. For example, if you’ve often felt the need to use following a hectic work week, make a commitment to take a jog or swim rather than succumbing to negative emotions and behaviors. By having a plan in place, you will be better equipped to deal with your emotions in a positive fashion.

4 – Recommit yourself to 12-step meetings on a daily basis to help strengthen your recovery.

5 – Obtain a list of contacts from people who are supportive of your recovery. These can be relatives, close friends, AA members, or even our Above It All addiction counselors. Make a point to call people from this list when you’re feeling the temptation to use again.

6 –Break out the notebook again and jot down a healthy list of emotional triggers. This list should be comprised of places, situations, things, and people that you associate with your addiction. As with your indicator inventory, this list will serve in helping you recognize and address trouble situations before they becomes an issue.

7 – Surround yourself with positive people who enjoy you for you! Addiction often stems from a desire to mask the person inside. Keeping the company of people who appreciate the real you will keep you empowered, confident, and on-the-ball.

Need To Talk?

If you are struggling with a recent relapse, our Above It All addiction specialists are on-hand to address your concerns. Give our LA drug rehab center a call today, and get back on track towards a fruitful, happy, and positive recovery.

Alcoholism and Powerlessness

There has always been a lot of confusion about this matter of asserting the will. When the twelve steps say “we admitted we were powerless over alcohol” we assert what has always been a fact about that malady. Namely that a frontal attack by the will on the desire to drink almost never works. This hard fact is the premise upon which we must start. The recognition that actual lunacy cannot be subdued by straight will power. God knows drunks have tried hard enough to do just this and have generally failed. Nobody would expect much result were every kleptomaniac to take the pledge not to steal. Repeating stealing, the kleptomaniac is as compulsively nutty as he can be. Though this compulsive condition is not so generally recognized in the alcoholic, because drinking is socially acceptable, it is never the less true that he is just about as crazy. Therefore our first is realistic when it declares that we are powerless to deal with the alcohol hex on our own resources or will.-pg. 273 from The Language Of The Heart

It is clear that we cannot get sober on our own or by willpower alone. If we could the majority of alcoholics in this world would probably opt for getting sober that way resulting in a huge number of success stories regarding sobriety. However the fact is that willpower or our wills have nothing to do with it. It wasn’t because we were weak willed that we could not stop drinking or could not rise above this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that we suffered from. In fact, our will if anything kept us drinking and using longer. Therefore no matter how strong or weak our will and mind was we surely could not recover using the same tools we used to get loaded. We could not fix the problem with the problem. Instead what we needed to do was ask for alcohol addiction help and work a program. Some of us might have even needed extra help through places such as a drug addiction detox, AA, or 30 day rehab program. Again needing these places in order to recover is not a matter of being weak willed. There are positive ways to incorporate our wills into our lives as well as negative ways. When we look at different ways to stay sober we are using our willpower to the best of our ability. We pray and meditate so that our will is aligned with our higher powers will for us. It is then and only then that we can be freed from the bondage of self.