The Alcoholic Addict and Step Nine

“Made a direct amends to people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.”

“Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past we attempt to sweep away the debris, which has accumulated out of our own effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.  If we haven’t the will to do this we ask until it comes.  Remember we agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.” -pg 76 Into Action from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

In step nine we get the opportunity to right what was once wrong and clean up our side of the street thanks to the help of places such as a Los Angeles rehab, AA or 30 day rehab programs.  We set out to clean up our wreckage, we go to people we have harmed and being careful not to cause more harm, we laid out and address our wrongdoings as well as ask how we can make it better.  This can definitely be a scary process.  No one wants to go to people and admit their faults let alone try to clean it up.  Sometimes it might seem easier to just brush it all under the rug.  After all, what if they are still angry, how will they react?  Many of us don’t want to feel bad, it’s the alcoholic’s mission to seek elevated moods and search for happiness so why would we want to rehash the past and feel guilty? For starters, this is not about them or their reactions, it is about us staying sober and being willing to go to any lengths.  Secondly, there is a freedom that comes from owning our parts and amending our behaviors.  It’s not only something that we need to do but get to do in order to be an example, so that if someone else is struggling with this disease they might know there is a place available or someone to go to for alcohol addiction help.

As it says in our responsibility statement: “When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there and for that I am responsible.”  Responsibility is not only owning our part but also going to any lengths to work the steps to the best of our ability.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Eight

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

Now we need more action, without which we find that “faith without works is dead.” Let’s look at steps 8 and 9 .We had a list of all persons we have harmed, and to whom we are willing to make amends .We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self appraisal.- pg 76 Into Action from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In our fourth step we had already made an 8th step list without knowing it but perhaps there were people we had harmed before we received alcohol addiction help that may not have harmed us. Therefore we much search every nook and cranny of our lives to make sure we don’t leave anyone out of our 8th step. Some alcoholics leave people off the list because they are afraid they will have to make amends to them. That is not a decision that needs to or is being addressed in this step. The only action that is taken here is to simply write don and review the people we have harmed as a result of our disease. When we start to get sober and the “fog” lifts perhaps through the help from a 30 day rehab, AA, or a drug addiction detox we can see clearly that our alcoholism didn’t just affect us but also most of the people we came in contact with as well. We were notorious for running through peoples lives like a tornado. The only way we can live a happy, clean, and full life while being able to live with ourselves is by doing the foot work, cleaning our side of the street up and making things right with our fellows.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Seven

“Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.”

We ask god to help us be willing when ready we say something like this: “my creator I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. i pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” We have then completed Step 7 – pg 76 Into Action from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In Step 6 and Step 7 we are cleaning house. Step 7 is a continuation of Step 6. We continue to become more aware of our defects of character and pray to have them removed. If we are unwilling then we simply pray for the willingness. As we talked about before the most difficult thing about being willing to be rid of our shortcomings is the fact that we think some of them still work for us. However as soon as they are removed we often times see they were not working for us, but in fact they were hurting us and others. When we finally let go of them we begin to see that living an honest and clean life is much more beneficial in the sense that not only is there less harm being done to ourselves and others, but also less negative consequences. As it says in the big book “if we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let god take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are the facts out of our experiences.” in order to get to the point of complete surrender or in preparation for the steps it would be beneficial to research places and things such as FAQs about rehab and recovery in Los Angeles, recovery testimonials California, AA, and California Rehab Centers. These resources will most likely to be able to answer any questions you might have. After completing step 7 we continue to be aware of our shortcomings when they crop up and once again we immediately ask god to remove them. This is a very crucial step when it comes to self-love and developing with ourselves and others. The payoff is the absence of dissonance, increased self-esteem and an amazing ability to handle situations which use to baffle us as a result of having and surrendering to a power greater than ourselves.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Six

“Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.”

“We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let god remove from us all the things which we have admitted were objectionable? Can he now take them all- every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask god to help us be willing.” Into Action pg 76 from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

When we first came to Alcoholic Anonymous we were full of character defects and short comings. We were out right mental defectives and we did not know that we did not know. however there were some character defects which we were unwilling when we got to step 6 to let go of, because they still worked for us in the sense that lying, manipulation, as well as other character defects might still be working it still might be used as a means to get what one wants and self preservation. However the defects that we felt like we had to hang on to was simply based off of fear. This is why we have to pray for willingness. In Step 6 we end up making a conscience decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of god again as we did in step 3. When we finally realize the defects no longer work for us and the lifestyle we’ve chose to live, we are then willing to be rid of them fully and to start working towards an altruistic movement. Like it says in the big book. “We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them.” How can we get to that place one might ask…after all we weren’t the poster children for selfless acts and we were ridden with short comings. There are several helpful establishments that exist for the sole purpose of helping alcoholics get to an altruistic place and recover such as; drug addiction detox, AA, 30 day rehab programs, NA, or a California alcohol rehab. It’s not easy changing everything and turning your life around, but once you clean your wreckage up and get closer to being the person you want to be you will find a new happiness and a fulfilling life awaits you.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Five

STEP FIVE: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact natures of our wrongs.”

In step five we take our inventory we did and sit down with another person (usually our sponsor. However in the past people have chosen to read it to others as well i.e. clergymen. This is fine provided there is trust in and a working knowledge of the steps in regard to the other person.) We then read our inventory making sure we left out nothing including our deepest darkest secrets. This step separates the people that are serious about getting and staying sober vs. the ones that aren’t serious about getting alcohol addiction help. This might seem like a pointless and scary step. Many might ask what’s the point? Or what if the person I read this too tells my secrets? This step requires a huge amount of trust and faith. If steps one, two, and three were done thoroughly faith and trust shouldn’t be an issue. If you find you are struggling with it you can always go back and do more work on step 3.Many places such as an affordable rehab, AA, or a drug rehab facility in LA can point you in the right direction as far as starting and continuing step work in a safe environment. As far as what the point of this step is or the benefits go there are many. You finally get to be rid of all your secrets and skeletons that have been holding you down. After all your secrets keep you sick. You get a sense of freedom, you get a sense of relief that only the people that have taken this step could imagine, and you can begin to hold your head up high and look people in the eyes again with dignity and grace and you can finally be free.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Four

STEP FOUR: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

Through doing steps 1, 2, and 3 we have built our foundation for recovery. An archway which we can walk through. We had to make sure we were thorough. If we weren’t then we would have to go back and do more work or we would eventually drink. After we did this we immediately began work on the fourth step. A four column process that not only helps us to look at the times we were hurt by others but also helps us to see we were not the victims that we once thought we were in these situations. We got to see our parts and the areas of our lives that it affected. As far as our fourth step goes it was imperative that we dug deep and made sure nothing was left out or else our efforts would have been in vain. If we are able to recognize, take responsibility, and clean our side of the street then we can regain control of our lives. However if we remain victims we assume a position that has little or no power/control  aside from the time, anger, and fear we assign to it. In order to do this step we may enlist the help of places such as an addiction program in Los Angeles, AA, or a California alcohol rehab. Most of these places also offer support for family of addicts and alcoholics available and if not then they can point you or your loved one in the right direction. If you are tired of living this way or feeling like a victim these and other places are there for you to get the help you need.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Three

STEP THREE: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

After having come up with our own concept of a higher power in step two This seems like it should be an easy step to take but it’s not so easy for alcoholics who were used to running their own lives and acting based on their own will. After all it says in the big book that we were perfect examples of self will run riot. How can we have that level of blind faith with something most of us had either negative or little experience with? The reality is that whether we are aware of it or not we had that level of blind faith in alcohol. Alcohol was def a power greater than us. We had faith  in it every day. we had faith that it would do for us what we cannot do for ourselves, that we would be taken care of and that it would do for us what we needed it to do. So you see we had no problem turning our will and our lives over to a higher power. This continued on until we sought out alcohol addiction help. The big fact for us was that we were very familiar when it came to the concept of faith. We only had the illusion of control and even though we were acting on our own will, we were still powerless. If we were willing to have even a quarter of the faith in a higher power that we had in alcohol then we would be set. There are many places designed to help with this and the other eleven steps such as; an affordable rehab, AA, and drug addiction detox. You or your loved ones don’t have to do this on your own. It can be scary to make an honest decision to turn your will and your life over. The payoff though is the removal of fear, peace, serenity, and an amazing fulfilling life.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Two

STEP TWO: “We Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

This is a big deal for us alcoholics. Let’s look at the first half of step 2. “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves”. This is important because first we had to come up with our own concept of a higher power. What does that look like? How is that possible when most of us who were raised with a God and were brought up with these ideas that he was damning, and shaming? Or when we think about God we think about religion and the feelings around it such as fear and judgment? Many of us didn’t come to AA thinking the greatest things or with the best feelings when it came to a higher power. After all if a higher power existed how could he/she/it let all these horrible things happen to us? We didn’t realize that our problems were of our own making. We were after all the perfect example of self will run riot. Many of us were unaware of the fact that we took over our lives and kicked “GOD” out of it. We were playing God until we found alcohol addiction help. In AA and through the second step we got to come up with our own beliefs and concepts of our own higher power. By doing that we found a loving and caring source which we could have faith in to take on all of our life problems. Many outsiders might think that sounds wishy washy to be able to create our own idea of GOD but it’s hard to imagine anything other than this working. Especially considering how defiant we are when we first get sober. Being told what we had to believe in wouldn’t have gone over too well. Now let’s take a look at the second half of the first step “could restore us to sanity”. This requires us to look at the fact that we were indeed insane before we sought out help whether it be through an addiction program in Los Angeles, AA, or a drug rehab facility in LA.When we were out there using it was very much insane. It went hand in hand with the unmanageability. The definition of insanity is “the condition of being insane. A derangement of the mind.” That could definitely be applied to our behavior surrounding drinking. Through this step we learn to trust in an infinite power rather than our finite selves and through that we are restored to sanity. What a remarkable blessing for a group of people who all at one point and time felt helpless, alone, crazy, and scared.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step One

In Alcoholics Anonymous there are suggested actions that people take called the steps.

Step One says: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.”

Many places such as 30 day rehab programs or a California alcohol rehab are twelve step centered. Let’s take a look at the first part of the first step: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.” In order for us to be ready to admit that we first had to reach our bottom and truly see/feel our powerlessness so that we could get to the point where we could surrender and seek out alcohol addiction help. We had to get to the point where we finally realized that not only has drinking not worked for us for a while but more importantly that no matter how many different ways we tried to control and enjoy our drinking it would never work.

In other words we had to fully admit to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics and therefore could not drink alcohol normally. This brings us to the second part of the first step.

“That our lives had become unmanageable.”Notice it doesn’t say and because of alcohol our lives had become unmanageable. That is because we come to find out that alcohol was not the problem. It was a symptom of our alcoholism. We also learn that it is a disease that centers in the mind as well as a spiritual malady. Our lives were not unmanageable because we drank it was unmanageable because of what that brought up for us and meant to us. Once we drank we couldn’t stop. The problem wasn’t in the liquid but rather the person that drank it. We were spiritually bankrupt and lacked the ability to recall the damage that came about as a result of our alcoholism. Through working the first step and starting to build a foundation we not only began to get relief from the years of suffering that drinking brought about but we found that piece by piece we were putting our lives back together and slowly watched as the unmanageability faded.

Finding Serenity in Sober Living

“Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” How it Works page 64 From the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

As alcoholics our ability and desire to hold on to all resentments or harms done to us or by us is unmatched by normal drinkers. We have a hard time letting go, forgiving, and forgetting. We have an amazing memory recall, except when it concerns alcohol and what it does to us. We would rather be right than be happy. Our thoughts are usually that of “if only you didn’t do this, then I wouldn’t have had to do that, if only they understood, or if only people acted right. I wouldn’t have had to retaliate.” Little do we know that the world was judging us by our actions while we were judging ourselves by our intentions. Resentment is the number one thing that takes people out after getting sober. Resentment also plays a key role in keeping us out there using and drinking longer than needed.  But how does one overcome a spiritual malady when one does not know they are spiritually sick? Furthermore, if that is the only way to “straighten out” mentally and physically, yet we cannot figure out the nature of our spiritual sickness and how to be rid of it, how can we ever get well? That’s why there are places and things such as; rehabs that take insurance, AA, drug rehab blogs, and other 12 step centered sober living CA. Through these places and things you or your loved ones can get the alcohol addiction help that is needed. As well as, getting the tools to overcome this spiritual malady called alcoholism, so that you never have to go through what you’re going through ever again.