Getting Sober and “First Things First”

“Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap. Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to extremes. At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions. He may either plunge into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business, or he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks or thinks of little else. In either case certain family problems will arise. With these we have had experience galore. We think it’s dangerous if he rushes headlong into his economic problem.” – pg. 125-126 The Family Afterward from The Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous

When we are newly sober and are just receiving alcohol addiction help it is important that we stick to doing the work around our disease. If we do that then everything else will fall into place. It’s a process. First things first…If we find that we need extra help getting sober we may choose to go to a drug addiction detox, AA, or a 30 day rehab program. At this point it is important that we do the work necessary for us to achieve long lasting sobriety. Over time we will be able to see how things are changing in our lives. We won’t need to try and fix everything right away because things have a way of getting better than we could have ever imagined if we just stay sober.

A Spiritual Experience or a Spiritual Awakening?

“The terms “spiritual experience” and “spiritual awakening” are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.  Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous. In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming  “God-consciousness” followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook. Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule.” Appendix ll Spiritual Experience from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

While a spiritual experience is necessary the first place to start is by seeking alcohol addiction help and working the steps. When we go to a 30 day rehab program, AA, or drug addiction detox we are given the tools necessary to do the work required of us in order to have a spiritual experience and stay sober. Many alcoholics in recovery are waiting for that burning bush experience. Sometimes when we are new and hear the word spiritual experience we expect that we will be smacked down with spirituality and fixed. That is not the case. Have there been some people who have claimed to have that experience? Yes! But there is also the spiritual experience of the subtle variety. The fact that over time we get better in itself is amazing. At some point in our recovery we are able to look back at the changes that have occurred in our lives, the emotional recovery, and an entire psychic change that has happened to us all of this combined is a spiritual experience. If you stick around you too will be able to have one and share in the gifts, joy, happiness, and freedom that comes from this life.

Finding Freedom in Steps Four and Five

“Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defect; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak times in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to god, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. This is perhaps difficult- especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves”. – Pg.72 Into Action from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Looking at the things we have done prior to receiving alcohol addiction help as well as sharing it with another person can be terrifying. Many of us have done things we are so ashamed of that we swear we will take them to the grave. With that being said the main hope is that by the time we get to this step there has been a good amount of time sober and we have done the work in a drug addiction detox, AA, or 30 day rehab program so that despite our fears we are able to walk through them, do this step, and come out the other side. Within the fourth and fifth step lies huge relief and freedom. It is these steps that allow us to overcome anything and be okay with who we are and what we have done in the past. These are the steps that show us not only how to forgive other but also how to forgive ourselves.

Alcoholism and the Mind

“We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby starting the cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc alcoholics drinking bout creates.” – pg. 22-23 There Is A Solution from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

As it states in the big book alcoholism is a disease that centers in the mind and not in the body. If the phenomenon of craving, followed by the mental mindset that takes place were not present and it was purely a bodily problem then we could just stop drinking and would never need to go to a 30 day rehab program, AA, or  drug addiction detox because we would be able to control our drinking with willpower alone. This disease is not a matter of being weak willed but rather we suffer from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Because of this we need to seek out alcohol addiction help in order to recover. If we do get help and do the work needed to stay sober we have a chance of clearing up the wreckage of our past, repairing broken relationships, and we can go onto live an amazing life full of joy, love, excitement, happiness, fun and freedom .

Self-Destructive Patterns of Alcoholism

“He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself. And then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced the night before.” – Pg.21 – There Is A Solution from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

If any of this rings true for you then you might need alcohol addiction help. There are many services available ranging anywhere from drug addiction detox to AA, and 30 day rehab programs. This excerpt from there is a solution is a perfect description of the alcoholic’s life when they are wrapped up in the bondage of this disease as well as the destruction that is a result of it. We become extremely introverted, our world becomes very small, and we are left spiritually bankrupt. These alcoholic characteristics and patterns end up robbing us of everything good in our lives and we are left with no choice but to keep drinking, and give up or get sober. If we are lucky enough to get sober then we have the opportunity to turn it all around, start over, and get back to our true selves. We are finally able to be the loving, honest, responsible, happy, joyous, and free beings that we were meant to be.

Working With Another Alcoholic

“If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can- if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it.” – Pg.92 Working With Others, from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When talking to people about this disease and the potential need for alcohol addiction help it is important that we don’t preach or recite lines from the big book. Instead we can share our experience, strength, and hope and talk about their options as far as a drug addiction detox, AA, 30 day rehab program, and other treatment options are concerned. We are there to be of service not to try and convince the person that they are an alcoholic and need help. It is also imperative that we do not diagnose others for it is necessary that we come to that conclusion on our own. Within this realization come enough pain, desperation, surrender, and willingness to get us to do the work needed to get and stay sober. It is only when we are standing at that turning point in our lives that we have a fighting chance at recovery. It is a life full of promise, hope, and joy and we would not want to rob anyone of this journey.

Being Free of Anger and Resentment in Sobriety

“If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. We turned back to the list for it held the key to the future. We prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away say more than alcohol. This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.”- pg. 66- 67 How It Works from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

We hear time and time again that resentment is the number one offender. It takes more alcoholics out and keeps more alcoholics from seeking alcohol addiction help than anything else. If we are to live a happy, joyous, and free life we must learn to rid ourselves of our resentments and let go. In a 30 day rehab program, AA, drug addiction detox, or sober livings we learn how to turn everything over to a power greater than ourselves, as well as forgive. It is important that we are able to forgive ourselves and others for the wrongs done to us or that we have done. Forgiveness happens when we let go of the hope that we can change the past. If we are able to stay in the moment most of the time then we will have an easier time dealing with ourselves and others because when we are living in the present we are able to have enough clarity to see that while we may not always get what we want or at least what we think we want we always get what we need.

Discovering a Power Greater than Yourself in Sobriety

“Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main objective is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics.  Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had nearly evaded or entirely ignored. We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious.”-pg. 45 We Agnostics from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is common for many alcoholics to have issues with the whole God thing especially because of what most of us had to endure prior to receiving alcohol addiction help, as well as the type of religious upbringing most of us had. When we get to the part of the big book that states “either God is everything or he is nothing what is our choice to be?” it can be difficult for us to make that decision. It might seem like enough to have to deal with getting sober, going to a 30 day rehab program, AA, or a drug addiction detox but the fact is that if those things aren’t backed up with spiritual growth followed by a spiritual experience then it is all for nothing. It is not required that we believe in God or a guy in the sky idea but rather that we come up with a concept of a power greater than ourselves that works for us. What this “power” looks like acts like, is called, resides, and any other qualities are entirely up to us as the individual.

The Alcoholic Addict, Resentments, and Inventory

“We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it. In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test-was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. Whatever our ideals turns out to be , we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in doing so.” pg. 69 How It Works, from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is imperative as alcoholics that we review our conduct on a regular basis so that we can amend our behavior. It is easy for us especially prior to receiving alcohol addiction help to come from a place of selfishness, and self-seeking. This often times results in lack of consideration for others. When we act without consciousness it can be hurtful to others. Many of us have spent most of our drinking days running through people’s lives like tornados. When we go through a drug addiction detox, AA, a 30 day rehab program, and get sober we are given the tools needed not to do this anymore, we learn what it means to live on an altruistic plane, and we shape our ideals. When shaping our ideals it is not just limited to sex it can be applicable to several areas of our lives. We take a look at how we want to be in all our relationships and also look closely at the kind of relationships we want in our lives romantic or not. After we do this we turn it over to a power greater than ourselves and make an effort to get as close to those ideals as possible. When we fall short we make it right. As long as we try our best and keep our side of the street clean we will be able to experience the gifts and grace that this program and lifestyle has to offer.

The Alcoholic, Fear, and Sobriety

“Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse. Perhaps there is a better way-we think so.For we are now on different basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite self. We are in the world to play the role he assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think he would have us, and humbly rely on him, does he enable us to match calamity with serenity.” – Pg.68 How It Works, from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Fear often robs us of all things good in our life. It causes so much damage and can be paralyzing at times. When we first receive alcohol addiction help, go to a drug addiction detox, AA, or 30 day rehab program one of the first things that is asked of us is to turn our will over to a power greater than ourselves. Through the recovery process we are given the tools needed to do so. The fact is that at some point we come to realize that fear to the extent that most of us endure it is not healthy and is no longer a character defect that works for us. It is isolating and only separates us from the world but also from our higher power. If we are in so much fear that we feel like we have to control the situation regardless of the fact that we are powerless then there is very little to no room for God. If we can live in faith then we can be rid of fear, be happy, be free from the bondage of self, and truly know what it’s like to live in the sunlight of the spirit while we match calamity with serenity.