The Alcoholic Double Life

“More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it. The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his sense, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As far as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension.”-pg. 73 Into Action from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

As alcoholics we are very good at living a double life. While we might be dying on the inside, and spiritually bankrupt it doesn’t matter as long as everyone around us thinks we are doing well, and have it together. This doesn’t always change after receiving alcohol addiction help especially in the beginning. It’s as if we have an alter ego. It stops us from letting people in. Its that part in us which drives us to gain acceptance and be the favorite and before we know it we are constantly striving for perfection and always coming up short. Weather its wanting to be the favorite student, partner, child, or friend it becomes our mission to show everyone how “okay” we are when we know we are dying on the inside. It plays out in many ways. We end up compartmentalizing our relationships and often times feel overwhelmed when we can’t keep it together and we start coming unglued. This pressure that we continuously put on ourselves to be a chameleon and do things perfectly is torturous. When we get into a 30 day rehab program, AA, or drug addiction detox we can begin to work on this issue and finally experience freedom from the bondage of self. We know longer have to be a slave to our ideas of what our life as well as personal relationships should look like. As it says in the big book “we will begin to know a new freedom and a new happiness, we will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace.”

Fighting Depression Following Addiction

Combating depression on its own can be a difficult obstacle to overcome. Fighting depression following an addiction to drugs or alcohol can be 10x worse. A small part of you will want to pick up where you left off; another will disagree. In some ways, it’s safe to say that depression works on the human brain in similar fashion to drug use… it’s time consuming and negative. If you’re up for the good fight, you will require assistance along the way. Reading this entry is the first step.

1 – Educate yourself. Though reading this article is a wonderful step forward, the act – in and of itself – will not cure your depression. Throw yourself into the fight by learning as much as you possibly can about it. Find out how other addicts have dealt with their depression, and chose combative techniques that best suit your individual needs and situation.

2 – Know that turning to drugs will only serve in feeding the depression. Though you may experience a few moments of euphoria, the escape will be short-lived, and draining. Finding ways to address your depression without the aid of drugs or alcohol is key to ensuring a happy life to come.3 – Need help? Ask for it! While medications and pills can help combat the pain of depression, they only address a small part of the big picture. Set goals, stay positive, and communicate your worries with a trained LA drug rehab counselor. Seek support from close family and friends who hold a vested interest in your sobriety. Drug addiction is very common in our society, as is depression. Finding help to address these issues is only as difficult as you choose to make it.

4 – Expand your social life! It can be easy for recovering addicts to avoid social interaction due to fears of relapse and anxieties. If you find yourself feeling nervous in social situations, just remember that you have the ability to leave when you like. Take things one step at a time, and push yourself to encounter new people and situations. In time, you’ll find yourself happier, more involved, and eager for fun!

5 – Always remember what brought you to this point. Some people will always maintain a desire for alcohol and drugs following recovery. Accept this, and move forward with a goal to maintain sobriety while staying active. Depression cannot be hidden or outrun… it must be dealt with head-on; as with addiction. When the going gets tough, just remember to take a good deep breath, and remember that for every low point, there is an equally drastic high point waiting around the corning.