On Studying the Twelve Steps

“Many of us exclaimed, “What an order!  I can’t go through with it.”  Do not be discouraged.  No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.  We are not saints.  The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.  The principles we have set down are guides to progress.  We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” – The Big Books of Alcoholic Anonymous, pg. 60

There are many times we strive to do things perfectly.  We set those around us and ourselves up for a failure of magnificent proportions based on our idea that whatever it is we’ve set out to accomplish will be performed nothing short of perfectly.  When this happens, many times, after the first major mistake, we shy away from any action remotely resembling the initial failure.  In effect, we are being paralyzed by our fear of getting it wrong or doing whatever it is we wanted to/meant to do less-than-perfectly.

One of the problems with this is that our subsequent fear of failure creates this idea that if it can’t be accomplished without a flaw it shouldn’t be attempted in the first place.  This pattern of inaction keeps us at the bottom of the river, wearing cement boots & drowning in our own expectations.

As we move forward in our Recovery, we learn that making mistakes is par for the course.  That, not only is it expected, it is actually okay.  We learn not to set ourselves up for the unattainable, which is based on our expected ideal of a failure-free action.  Through these moments of trial and error, we actually learn and grow.  Our mistakes become our teachers and our ideas of perfection shift to actions of progress.  With this, we move ever closer to our goal of being an effective, valuable member of society

Loneliness in Sobriety

There are times in the beginning of our sobriety when we feel most alone.  We no longer have the crutch of drugs and alcohol on which to lean however we are also without a feeling of support and understanding from anywhere, anything or anyone else.  This can lead to a sense of being lost, as if we are wandering in the desert with no oasis in sight, nary a mirage to even trick us into moving forward.  These feelings are actually far more common than not.

The idea that there is any kind of life waiting for us past the hell that we’ve been in seems difficult to conceptualize.  In the depths of our desperation, we are unable to think that there might be half a chance to live a life of even remote satisfaction, much less a life that is filled with being happy, joyous and free.  These words are as foreign to us as ancient Aramaic was to archeologists.  They are utterly and completely incomprehensible.

Now is the time to trust those around us to see the truth of what can be instead of what we think it should be or actually is.  We haven’t had much luck in following our own thinking at this point so we must put our faith in others to guide us while we remain temporarily blindfolded thinking we are actually never to have sight again.  We need those who can show us what is true and what is not.  While pursuing Recovery in a Los Angeles rehab, the counselors have an intimate knowledge as well as personal experience of what it’s like to move from this inconceivably, vastly empty place toward a life of purpose, satisfaction and that even the opportunity to revel in our destiny of joy only awaits us.  We have begun to arrive.

Deliberate Drinking and Using

“In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like.  But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened.  We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 37

As we travel along this new path of sobriety, we will be squarely confronted with issues in our lives that we may have, in our life previous to this new route of no longer imbibing, used to justify our drinking and/or using.  Issues where we allow a vast power, the power of our reactive feelings, to swoop down over us; in effect supplanting our connection with our Higher Power and replacing it with said feelings regarding our current trials and tribulations.  These might be situations that we would have, previously, used to assert ourselves alongside our beverage or drug of choice.

During these difficult times, we may feel righteously deserving of going out and getting absolutely, wholly, and totally besotted, be it with alcohol and/or drugs.  We may use the excuse of our situation, whatever that may be, like a shield between us and our Higher Power.  We may, possibly, even believe we are due a time out from our entire acquired sobriety thus far since, perhaps, we had been “good” for so long.  Perhaps we may fall prey to the idea of taking that particular moment and using it to jump at what may seem like a golden opportunity to drink and/or use.

These moments can be deadly.  Who knows if we will be able to return to the path of sobriety.  Maybe, just maybe, this self-indulgent, righteous tear we go out on doesn’t lead us, eventually, back to being sober but into an institution or, worse yet, a grave.
In this alcohol and drug rehabilitation center in California, the staff help us learn about the pending potential for our lives to take a turn in a difficult direction or when to recognize we are embroiled in an issue so deeply that it may seem insurmountable without the use of drugs and/or drink in order for us to get through it.  They show us that this is one of the insidious ways our alcoholism and/or drug addiction has aggressively taken hold of us, keeping us pinned to the proverbial ground and separated from what we have learned and experienced thus far.  We learn what to do when these feelings encompass us and these tools, in effect, save our lives; much like CPR saves the lives of so many, our embracing and enacting these new ways of living through difficult times will do the same.

Expectations and the Alcoholic Addict

“Resentment is the “number one” offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.  From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.”   The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 64

From where do resentments come?  What makes them such an integral part of our spiritual sickness?  How might we overcome them and why should we?

If we consider situations that disappointed and/or angered us, and subsequently take a look past our immediate emotional reaction, many times there is an unfulfilled expectation lurking in our respective backgrounds.  Perhaps we aren’t even aware of said expectation.  For some reason, in some way, someone or something didn’t behave as we thought they should.  Something in our exchanges with others, or lack thereof, has left us angry and/or sad where we may have been, instead, hoping for the best possible outcome and/or response.. Expectations can easily become resentments and resentments for the alcoholic and/or addict can be not just damaging but actually fatal.

Why is that?  An expectation is a preconceived notion as to what’s going to and/or said to happen or, conversely, what did not occur; be it a phrase from someone who jittered bugged into our  life and jittered bug right on back out, with no warning. This scenario might leave us particularly perturbed and since that feeling can be overwhelming, there are many reasons it becomes the answer to what keeps us mired in our spiritual sickness, which some of us think we can compel and dispel on our own.  More often than not, given we cannot control people, places, and things, our remembering this key issue becomes paramount so we can be relieved of forming new expectations and/or resentments.

Instead of connecting with our Higher Power, we have, in essence, given that expectation/resentment all the power and we immediately neglect our relationship with that Higher Power of our understanding.  Our resentments become our guiding force, our God, in which we bow and cater to throughout our day.  With that, there are times when, say sitting through a long meeting at work, everyone might head out for a beer afterwards in order to process and unwind.  Alas, we cannot join them in a relaxing-post work beverage.  If we are seething with resentment and replaying over and over again the very moment from which our sense of betrayal stems, we open ourselves up to being eaten alive.  Lo and behold, in the very next frame in the moving picture of our live, a “forget this” may come our way and without the ability to not only actively recall our past, we throw our caution to the wind and pick up a drink.  What else might give us that ease and comfort, quelling, albeit temporarily, that feeling of resentment which might now be residing inside of us.

All in all, our expectations becoming resentments becoming something to “drink over” can lead us straight to the grave.  They are not to be taken lightly.

Changes in Early Recovery

Early in recovery, nearly every alcoholic and addict struggles with great changes in themselves. Suddenly, the things they thought they enjoyed are no longer very enjoyable and they find themselves wanting to seek out new experiences and aspects of themselves.

For some this is a difficult and painful process. Suddenly, not only are they letting go of drugs and alcohol but they are confronting parts of themselves that seem to be falling away – things that seem a part of their core identity. Perhaps musical taste or taste in films or activities change. This can be frightening and can leave you wondering “Who am I”?

They are changing. As one lets go of drugs and alcohol and into recovery, the spiritual and emotional changes are so grand that they naturally affect other aspects and sometimes, external components of the life of the alcoholic and addict. For some, these changes are subtle. For others, these things change more dramatically.

As the inside changes, the outside often does as well. Drugs and alcohol have impeded our spiritual and emotional growth and now that we are sober and free from the clutches of addiction, we begin to grow in a way that we haven’t been able to for a great many years. We are free to create a concept of the person we want to be and to become that person. Maybe you want to go back to school, change careers, spend more time with your family or get back to the magic of creativity that you seem to have lost someplace along the way.

When you make the decision to let go of drugs and alcohol and to experience true freedom, you will be able to have any experience you can dream of.

On Powerlessness in the Lives of Alcoholics and Addicts

“At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 24.

This is Powerlessness.

Our souls beg us to cut out the drinking.  There is attempt after attempt to engage our will to halt the madness of the drink and no matter how hard we try, we cannot.  The body sends signals that the drinking isn’t doing what it initially did; the mind, fully conscious that nothing but misery is at the bottom of every glass, is incapable of overriding this burning need.  Even feeling all of these feelings and intrinsically knowing that all of these more-than-obvious clues scream STOP, we continue to imbibe.  We gamble our very lives, and as we lose over and over, we watch, almost as outsiders, any and everything loved and cared for slip away.  It still isn’t enough.  We plead with ourselves; we make promises, fully meaning them at the time; we swear on all that we have or don’t have and yet, we cannot stop.

Why is this?  It’s the allergy of the body which is triggered by the drink itself and subsequently it ensnares our mind causing an obsession that overrides EVERYTHING else and that, in turn, relies on and continues our spiritual bankruptcy.  It is a threefold catch 22, which is the disease of alcoholism.  And, our very starting point is our Powerlessness over alcohol.

In early Recovery, this first half of the first step can be difficult to grasp, to truly learn how insidious this Powerlessness is.  The California alcohol rehab staff has an intimate understanding and can clarify and expound on this, going so far as to give examples of what this looks like and how it manifests.  If we don’t have a thorough comprehension, there is the possibility we may still hold to the idea that somehow, someday, we can control our drinking.  As alcoholics, we must grasp this fundamental truth.

CA Drug Rehabs Save Lives

A California drug rehabilitation center knows that being an addict is one of the hardest things a person can go through during their entire lifetime. But, seeking treatment to come out of it sober and healthy can seem even harder to someone who has lived this life for as long as some addicts have. Even though substance abuse has taken away part of a person’s life that they can’t get back, they can build a new one that can be better because it will be free of drugs and alcohol.

If you are thinking it is time to make the step to becoming a clean and sober person who takes control of their life, looking in to a California drug rehabilitation facility is going to give you the confidence you need to finally make the right choice. Being able to be amongst the trees, scenic mountains, far removed from the preconceived notions you might have of California and relaxing while learning how to recover from the addiction is going to help you maintain the clear and level head that you need while still reveling in the beauty you might have missed while on drugs or abusing alcohol.

When you are looking in to a California drug rehabilitation treatment center to possibly bring someone you love, the objective you have is saving their life. You have watched them spiral downward and out of control for who knows how long, and all you want is for them to get better. Having medically trained professionals on staff who have the expertise and knowledge to not only take care of your loved one physically by helping them to get off of drugs and alcohol, but also treat them mentally to prepare them for becoming productive members of your family, friends, and the society in which they want live soberly should be make a great case for why this person should check themselves in.

No matter what substances you or your loved one may have been abusing, the one universal truth about all of them is that you cannot quit alone; you need help to become healthy again. Admitting that is the first step and getting therapy in a California drug rehabilitation clinic is the second. The third and final step is to take the teachings that you have learned from everyone you encounter inside of the treatment facility and putting them in to practice in the real world.

A California rehab is the best of all worlds: a beautiful location, amazing physicians, remarkable therapists, and people just like you or your loved one who are seeking to live a life free from the chains of addiction. California rehab centers save lives; as many as they can. Every time someone enters a clinic they are given the same opportunity to live a healthy life that the last person who walked through the doors was, and the next person to come in will. What they do with it is up to them and their loved ones.

No Human Power…

“That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 60

With reading the above mentioned statement, we may not entirely grasp the gravity of its suggestion.  Many times, in a California alcohol rehab, we may put the counselor or therapist to whom we feel the most connected on a pedestal.  Perhaps after leaving this rehab, we begin to refocus our attention from the counselor/therapist to our sponsor, assuming we are working with one.  If not our sponsor, maybe we put the onus of our belief of that power greater than ourselves on another person, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, public figure, etc.

This is a definitive problem and can further the concept of having a lack of power.  As we attempt to rely on others, we find that, invariably, the human condition, which includes the inevitable mistakes and whatnot, is not a stable and reliable source for us.  We find this direction, if we attempt it, isn’t the best within where to reach/attach our faith.

It may be a struggle to come to the notion that we cannot rely upon others as an insurance policy against our drinking and/or using.  With everything we hear about working with others, being available, being of service, it can be, especially in early sobriety, confusing as to where we are to place our firm assurances.

When we rely on others for our sobriety, we are setting ourselves and the other person up for failure and for the possibility of him or her building a large resentment toward us or, conversely a resentment from us toward the person with whom we want to believe will save us and/or keep us sober.  When that other person doesn’t act, behave, give, respond, in the way we need, this can be used as our impetus to drink and/or use, before we have a spiritual foundation on which to stand.  This can, given resentments are our number one offender, propel us toward taking a drink and, therefore, quite possibly drive us straight through the gateway of misery into the waiting arms of death.

In order for us to follow the well-worn path to success in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous using the design for living provided for us in the The Big Book, it is strongly suggested we find a power great than ourselves and that power may very well need to come in the form of a burgeoning concept of our Higher Power. This is to be a power greater than ourselves and that does not mean another living being or inanimate object, as people can let us down and material items can get lost and/or break.  We are not saviors for others, as they cannot be for us, & just as we cannot, of our own will, save ourselves.

Newly Sober and the Distractions of New Relationships

In the beginning of our sobriety we may hear others suggest holding off on starting any new, romantic relationships.  More often than not, we hear that we should wait at least a year before pursuing partnering with someone new.  There is nothing in the Big Book of Alcoholics directly suggesting that concept.  However, it is not always the worst idea to heed.

As we start what might be a painful process of self-examination; the what, where, how and who we are at the start of this journey, the idea of a distraction can be very attractive.  In addition, the good feelings and validation we could receive in our heightened vulnerable state can be, for lack of a better word, or perhaps this is the perfect word, intoxicating.

How many times have we turned the spotlight toward someone we found appealing?  Subsequently we spent our time focusing, maybe even obsessing on the other person, rather than having our energies, attention and drive be targeted toward our true goal, which is learning how to live a decent, healthy life.

It is easy to be swayed by the prospect of engaging in diverting our attention from the truth of our current state.  Perhaps, for most of us, it is best to remain aware of our inability to be truly available in such an early phase of our sobriety.  In such a vulnerable and, potentially, lost position in the world, anyone or anything else can easily influence our fragile attention.  We have forgone our coping device, be it alcohol or drugs or both, and what better way to feel wanted, comforted, and pleasured than by being bewitched with the idea of someone else paying attention to us.

As it stands, there are relationships that have started in early sobriety that have, in fact, worked beautifully for people however those are a very minute percentage.  This is the time for us to focus on ourselves while getting our feet somewhat planted beneath us.  This can be very difficult if we are wooed away by the fantasy of another, an infatuation in our most vulnerable state leaves us unable to accomplish the true task-at-hand.

Winning the Confidence of Another Alcoholic

“But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours.  Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 18

This Los Angeles rehab is primed to help those who are looking to move forward, out of the alcoholic addict lifestyle and into a healthier way of living.  The staff is not only trained in the clinical aspect of recovery-related therapy, many of them have had drug and/or alcohol-related issues and are now in the process of their very own recovery as well.  This is a boon for those who might feel uncomfortable with the idea of having to pursue their venture into sobriety thinking there will be no one with whom, staff-wise, they can genuinely lock into.  The staff at this alcohol rehab has the ability to be present and available in a way that, no matter how empathetic a non-addict can be; only another alcoholic can connect.  They are able to truly recognize and can share from a place of intrinsic understanding.

As our path to sobriety continues and we are now out and active in the world of recovery, we will be able to become the very same people who, as we once relied on the truth of others who were in our position, are now capable of being the ones with whom newer alcoholic addicts can identify.  This is the opportunity where we now start being able to give back and feel a sense of purpose in the world.  We become the bridge to sobriety for others by offering that which we had received; the ability to really “get” it like no one else can.