Feelings: Reacting vs. Responding

Feelings, we all have them.  Many times we react to them and base our responses, actions, behaviors, thoughts, our demeanor and treatment of others, and ourselves, on how we feel at that moment.  As we know, feelings can change at the drop of a hat; merely a breeze blowing from a different direction can alter our emotions.

As we move forward we begin to learn that feelings are not facts.  This doesn’t mean that while feeling them those sentiments are not our truth in that moment.  It doesn’t mean that we are wrong or bad for feeling how we feel.  We are welcome to feel anyway we’d like.  It is how we interpret them and realize that what we may feel and perceive isn’t always what the truth is around us.  As we continue, we subsequently begin to learn that it’s how we react that makes all the difference in the world to the person or people to whom we are responding.

The key difference here is reacting versus responding.  We learn how to respond.  We are taught that in our response to others, be it people or situations, our path through life can ease significantly when we grasp and enact this idea.

The staff at this rehab in Los Angeles can guide you to the stepping stones on which to travel in order to reach this goal.  We all understand that after years of reacting, immediately adopting a new system of communicating isn’t going to happen overnight.  The task-at-hand isn’t a simple one, it is, however, crucial to our survival.

The Alcoholic and Control

“Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way.  If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great.  Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.  Life would be wonderful.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 60-61

How many times have we believed that if a person would only act exactly the way we think they should, complete a task the way we think it needed to be done, and say everything just the right way, it would all turn out to be nothing short of perfect?  Haven’t we thought if a particular place would only accommodate us in the way we believed we deserved, thinking ourselves to be an unknown member of the Royal Family, our treatment would allow us to then be beneficent?  Hasn’t frustration wound us up when something didn’t go just our way, causing us to retaliate and behave with venomous attacks or passive aggressive, backhanding comments?  Don’t we speak through gritted teeth and forced smiles sure that everyone and everything, everywhere, would only do our bidding, as we so believe it is meant to be done, we could successfully function in the world?

Time and time again we try to arrange and manipulate situations to some script we have secreted away from the rest of humanity.  We try to feed lines to others, believing them to be at our bidding and perform our play as it is written in our heads.  We try to create scenarios where we become the victor, the hero, the savior, the good guy, the white knight, et al.  While attempting these superhuman feats to dominate the world around us, believing that the only option is the option that serves us the best, we fall flat and sink further with every move.  Our self-serving, controlling attempts cause others strife and consternation and that’s on a good day.

One of the key lessons that can be learned while in a California drug rehabilitation center is the understanding that we cannot control people, places, and/or things.  It is a lesson that we encounter and relearn over and over again, in a multitude of ways.  There are times when it can be difficult to hold to this concept.  More often than not, we find that it is imperative for us to actively place this tenet in our new-found life so that we may, in fact, be available and of service to others, not as we believe they should be, but as they actually are.

Life and Struggles in Sobriety

When we are new in sobriety, there are times we believe that everything henceforth will be nothing but smooth sailing.  Now that the bottle’s been put down, life will move forward and all will be well, with no other struggle as great again.

This is simply untrue.  Life is just that, life.  Before the drug met our veins or the bottle met our lips, life posed challenges.  Challenges do not cease in sobriety.  We learn, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly that we are and will be still challenged, often in ways with which we aren’t quite as familiar.  Our both favorite & hated numbing agent is gone, leaving us bare to the world, and that includes being subjected to its struggles and embracing its joys.

Part of what working a program of Recovery includes is learning how to live with and survive in the struggles that occur in life.  We are given the opportunity to be brought to a place where calamity can meet serenity.  Where we can survive the pain and embrace the joy and be toppled over by neither.

One of the many gifts of sobriety is being able to feel, truly feel and live in those feelings without being devoured by them.  We are given the opportunity to not walk as zombies through life but to have experiences which enrich our lives and allow us to bring those experiences to the people around us, showing them that they too, as time moves on, will be able to share exactly as you have.  Our gift is being able to be, have feelings and pass on our legacy of sobriety.  It’s not always easy; it is, however, always worth it.

The Alcoholic and Fear

Many times, as we dig further into our Recovery, we realize that fear has been driving us.  Fear of losing people, places, things and/or fear of never getting those things initially or fear of actually having them.  Whatever it is or has been, many times it’s been fear holding the reins, driving us on.

How can we combat this inner terror, the terror of being seen as vulnerable, aching human beings?  Where do we find a new way in which to approach the world and the people in it?

First, we have to find from where this fear stems.  More often than not, it is so deep-seated, ingrained so thoroughly that only through fearlessly looking at where we have been, and what has upset us so, can we find a way through it.  Many of us have used fear as the propeller by which we pilot our planes.  It moves us further toward justifying our taking a drink or a drug, even though we are long since well aware of the catastrophic damage from the crash and burn of that jetliner missing the runway entirely.

The path through fear can seem scary in and of itself.  The 4th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous, where we make “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” may loom over us, casting a dark shadow upon even initially embarking on a passage way to sobriety.  Let us not have fear prior to investigation.  It is a task that is simply a fact-finding mission designed to free us of our resentments, our fears and the way in which these have dictated our existence up until now.  The completion of this task can let us meet the world with backs straight, eyes forward and hands extended.

Emotional Changes in Early Sobriety

There are times in the beginning of our sobriety when we feel most alone.  We no longer have the crutch of drugs and alcohol on which to lean however we are also without a feeling of support and understanding from anywhere, anything or anyone else.  This can lead to a sense of being lost, as if we are wandering in the desert with no oasis in sight, nary a mirage to even trick us into moving forward.  These feelings are actually far more common than not.

The idea that there is any kind of life waiting for us past the hell that we’ve been in seems difficult to conceptualize.  In the depths of our desperation, we are unable to think that there might be half a chance to live a life of even remote satisfaction, much less a life that is filled with being happy, joyous and free.  These words are as foreign to us as ancient Aramaic was to archeologists.  They are utterly and completely incomprehensible.

Now is the time to trust those around us to see the truth of what can be instead of what we think it should be or actually is.  We haven’t had much luck in following our own thinking at this point so we must put our faith in others to guide us while we remain temporarily blindfolded thinking we are actually never to have sight again.  We need those who can show us what is true and what is not.  While pursuing Recovery in a Los Angeles rehab, the counselors have an intimate knowledge as well as personal experience of what it’s like to move from this inconceivably, vastly empty place toward a life of purpose, satisfaction and that even the opportunity to revel in our destiny of joy only awaits us.  We have begun to arrive.

The Alcoholic, Resentments and Recovery

“… we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.  Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 62

Many times we may feel as if we have been hurt over and over again by the people around us.  Sometimes we used this as an excuse to drink or do drugs or fall prey to depression and anxiety reveling in our self-pity.  It is difficult for us, in early Recovery, to understand that we have a vast amount culpability within regard to our own misery.

When we are buried beneath the weight of addiction, we cannot see the scope of our responsibility in these resentments.  We can be quick to anger and blame-place.  Our finger pointing becomes the god by which we set store.  The resentments to which we bow down dominate our lives, further driving us away from spiritual growth and deeper into our own addict alcoholic destruction.  They dictate our behavior, even if the initial incident happened long ago.  We treat every other moment thereafter based on those resentments.  We carry them with us, holding them close, believing that, sometimes, they define us.

In a California rehab, the staff gently begins to show us where, perhaps, our part may lie.  There are times, especially when we were hurt by others at a very young age, the only component of our responsibility is that we still perpetually carry and react to this original pain.  These albatrosses bring us to the bottom over and over again.  Only when we learn to release them do we have the chance of being free.

A New Happiness in a New, Sober Life

“ … we aren’t a glum lot.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 132

In the scope of all of the fears that permeate getting sober, one of which is that we will never enjoy ourselves again.  This question, “How will I ever have any fun without a drink or drug in hand?” is based on our reliance of substances to provide for us things we think we have been without.

Perhaps when we initially began drinking and using there was the feeling of instant invincibility and our perceived notion that we could be friendly and fun where without that drink or drug, we believed we would never be able to feel comfortable enough to do so.  In effect, we began to treat this symptom, this belief of an inability to fit in, with the drink or drug, which we believed allowed us to suddenly become a caped and masked superhero.  Finally, we thought, not only do we fit in but the lampshade on our respective heads amused everyone far and wide.  Or so we thought.

The truth is that through our ever-widening highway of sobriety, we learn more and more that fun is there for the taking.  Maybe we always wanted to engage in an activity to which we were drawn but never sober enough to follow through on to even make the initial attempt.  Now, all doors are open to us, we can seek our heart’s desire and enjoy ourselves along the way.  We have learned how to throw our heads back and laugh.  In the dawn of our Recovery, we begin to realize we have a bond with others who suffered in, possibly, the very same way.  The staff at this Los Angeles drug rehab understands the root of this fear and teaches us that enjoying oneself is paramount as well as shows us how to do just that.

Laughter and joy are waiting for you on the other side of the darkness to which we may have become so accustomed.  Our fellows encourage the very idea and we move toward a life that allows us to be happy, joyous and free.

The Alcoholic and Willingness

“… “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?”  As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 47

Within the scope of addiction and alcoholism, it is understood that we, as a power unto ourselves, are incapable of managing and controlling our using and drinking.  This has been shown to us time and time again.  We must be willing to allow another Guiding Force the chance to direct us, to help us move past this damaging way of living.  We must tap into a Power greater than ourselves if we are to be restored to sanity.

That is an essential component of getting and maintaining sobriety; the willingness to be willing.  Willing doesn’t mean fully embracing a concept which may be beyond our grasp at the moment.  Willing, by definition, means inclined toward.  It doesn’t affirm anything other than being ready to consider another path, which is the natural step after truly understanding we cannot do this solely by and on our own power.

Can this willingness to put our faith in something other than ourselves give us half a chance in the battle against substances?  According to many who have come before us, this is another key in the unlocking of the door to Recovery.  This “willingness” opens us up to the progression of moving toward living a life of worth.  It gives us an opportunity to become of maximum service in the world, to whomever we encounter, which is the ultimate goal.

Finding an Alcohol Rehab in California is Easy, Finding the Right One Takes Research

Locating an alcohol rehab in California is easier than finding a celebrity and just like celebrities, not all facilities are the same. While you may think that the most expensive treatment facilities are going to offer you the most help that just isn’t the case. People who found institutions for alcohol and drug detoxification, rehabilitation, and recovery are people who have been afflicted with addiction themselves and understand the pain and toll it takes on families and loved ones and the best of them are going to offer you their services at a price you can afford.

No matter what part of the United States you live in, or even if you live in the farthest reaches of the globe, an alcohol rehab in California is going to be the best place for you to relax and learn how to move past this awful affliction and become a person who does not need to rely upon false crutches for validation or to numb some trauma you cannot face without the help of trained individuals. Once you can come to the realizations of what you are fighting internally, you can learn how to manifest that energy in to something useful and meaningful, instead of something so detrimental like drugs and alcohol.

Celebrities, movie stars, music icons, and the like are starting a terrifying trend of using treatment facilities as a way to garner publicity or to even get out of the public eye for wrong doings they have been caught committing. The term “rehab” has become synonymous with an “apology” to public personalities, but anyone who has been embroiled in addiction knows they are so much more than that. Learning how to live your life in a way that you have never known, and without the aid of substances altering your mind and body, is hard work and cannot be done without skilled professionals who have been in your shoes before. Being in an alcohol rehab in California should not cheapen the experience you are going to have.

High priced with a recognizable name may not be the best choice for someone who is not in the public eye, as with a lesser known and more affordable facility, you can get the mental and medical care you need to overcome this illness and move on without having the added distraction of celebrity or media invading what should be a very private time for you to learn and grow.

Finding a California alcohol rehab that is not only affordable, but instills the same teachings and principles as the higher priced and celeb populated is going to give you a head start on the rest of your life, while feeling like you gained the most perspective and guidance you could have from the experience. Being in a California drug rehab center that allows you respite at a price your family can afford is going to allow you to grow and learn how to pay them back by coming out of this happy and healthy and ready to give them the love they have given you through such a rough period in your lives.

The Alcoholic and Powerlessness

“At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 24.

This is Powerlessness.

Our souls beg us to cut out the drinking.  There is attempt after attempt to engage our will to halt the madness of the drink and no matter how hard we try, we cannot.  The body sends signals that the drinking isn’t doing what it initially did; the mind, fully conscious that nothing but misery is at the bottom of every glass, is incapable of overriding this burning need.  Even feeling all of these feelings and intrinsically knowing that all of these more-than-obvious clues scream STOP, we continue to imbibe.  We gamble our very lives, and as we lose over and over, we watch, almost as outsiders, any and everything loved and cared for slip away.  It still isn’t enough.  We plead with ourselves; we make promises, fully meaning them at the time; we swear on all that we have or don’t have and yet, we cannot stop.

Why is this?  It’s the allergy of the body which is triggered by the drink itself and subsequently it ensnares our mind causing an obsession that overrides EVERYTHING else and that, in turn, relies on and continues our spiritual bankruptcy.  It is a threefold catch 22, which is the disease of alcoholism.  And, our very starting point is our Powerlessness over alcohol.

In early Recovery, this first half of the first step can be difficult to grasp, to truly learn how insidious this Powerlessness is.  The California alcohol rehab staff has an intimate understanding and can clarify and expound on this, going so far as to give examples of what this looks like and how it manifests.  If we don’t have a thorough comprehension, there is the possibility we may still hold to the idea that somehow, someday, we can control our drinking.  As alcoholics, we must grasp this fundamental truth.