Getting Sober and Circumstances of Life

“Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn’t so. In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another. Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all. We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon. Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a higher power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!” pg.-100 Working with Others from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When first receiving alcohol addiction help and getting sober many of us think that life should look a certain way and that we should have certain things or get the things we lost back just because we are sober. While most of us do get our life’s back there are things and relationships that take time to heal and get back. That does not mean we cannot recover. There is no person place or thing that can keep us sober or stop us from recovering. Regardless of age, sex, job, race, political views, religion, and circumstance we can all recover. Those other possessions and relationships will come back if and when they are meant to. All we need to do is show up, and do the work that is asked of us in life, a drug addiction detox, AA, or 30 day rehab program. Regardless of the way our life looks the fact is that if we didn’t drink today, our lives are better for that alone, and the rest is extra.

Alcoholics, Addicts, and the Fun of Sobriety!

“We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute? Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you.” –pg.152 A Vision for You from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

After receiving alcohol addiction help most of us are surprised and pleased by the fellowship we find through sobriety, drug addiction detox, AA, and 30 day rehab programs. Many of us feel like we are never going to have as much fun as we have had in the past but the reality of the situation is that not only do we have as much fun but usually even more than before because its minus the unmanageability. We find a new joy and a new freedom. We come to realize that through sobriety anything is possible. As long as we take action, and stay sober we can do anything we want to. We are given the opportunity to create the life of our dreams and pursue different paths, paths that we haven’t until sobriety been able to pursue. Many of us had many dreams that just fell by the wayside because of our alcoholism but now we get to go and live life!

The Simplicity of The 12 Steps

“We represent no particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he places the welfare of other people ahead of his own.” – pg. 93 Working with Others from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When first receiving alcohol addiction help and reading something like this from the big book may seem somewhat confusing. After a while when it is broken down for us we can actually see how simple this program is. Where it talks about outlining the program of action it is referring to the steps and everything involved in doing the step whether we go to a 30 day rehab program, AA, or an affordable rehab these are all a part of our personal program of action. When it talks about a self- appraisal it is talking about the work we do to identify our side of the street and the work needed to improve on many different things such as character defects, resentments, relationships etc. particularly by doing our inventory. Finally it goes on to talk about sponsorship and how we can’t keep our recovery if we don’t give it away. Many of us are baffled by these things when we are newly sober but over time we will be able to comprehend this way of life and we will become happily and usefully whole.

The Importance of Openness in Sobriety

“If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have no right to save our own skin at another person’s expense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must hard on ourselves, but always considerate of others. Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity.” – pg. 73-74 Into Action from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When we decide we are ready to receive alcohol addiction help and do the work in order to stay sober it is important that we decide to do the work with someone that matches the criteria talked about in this excerpt from the big book. It is important that we feel safe and know that whatever is talked about is discussed in confidence. That way it will be easier for us to proceed with abandoned. Regardless of if we decide to do the work through a 30 day rehab program, AA, drug addiction detox, or through a friend we need to know in matters regarding the steps that our confidence is not going to be betrayed for this could potentially leave a bad taste in our mouth as far as sobriety is concerned and could lead us to drink. When the time is right we will find the right person to take us through the steps, be shown a way to recover, and as a result of the step work have a spiritual experience. If we find the right person it can truly be a beautiful process.

The Importance of a Truly Fearless and Thorough Inventory in Sobriety

“The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough or humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character.”- pg. 73 Into Action from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When it comes to our step work, it is important that we are thorough and fearless from the very start if we are going to stay sober Through going to an affordable rehab, AA, or drug addiction detox we can be shown precisely how to recover as well as get the tools needed to achieve lasting recovery. If we are not honest and we cut corners in our inventory no matter how tempting or scary it is then our work would have been for nothing. The alcohol addiction help that is available to us only works if we do it with complete abandon and honesty. If we are able to walk through our fears by taking contrary action then we will be rewarded and be blessed with a life full of peace, love, serenity, and happiness amongst many other things.

Alcoholism, Addiction, and The Workplace

“A look at the alcoholic in your organization is many times illuminating. Is he not usually brilliant, fast-thinking, imaginative and likable? When sober, does he not work hard and have a knack of getting things done? If he had these qualities and did not drink would he be worth retaining? Should he have the same consideration as other ailing employees? Is he worth salvaging? If your decision is yes, whether the reason be humanitarian or business or both, then the following suggestions may be helpful. Can you discard the feeling that you are dealing only with habit, with stubbornness, or a weak will? If this presents difficulty, rereading chapter two and three, where alcoholic sickness is discussed at length might be worthwhile”. –pg.139-140 To Employers from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Most of us prior to receiving alcohol addiction help were outright mental defectives. Most of us could barely hold it together for a job let alone life. While our potential was obvious and probably frustrating to most we were either unable to see it or figure out how to reach that potential. When we got/get sober we are finally able to see the things in ourselves that others were able to see all along. Then when you add a drug addiction detox, AA, or 30 day rehab program to the mix we are given the tools needed to not only function but also be a productive member of society, and a worker among workers. We are restored to sanity and Go on to be some of the best employees a company has ever seen.

Helping Others Discover Their Higher Power

“Even though your protégé may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he is willing to believe in a power greater than we and that he live by the spiritual principles. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused.”- pg. 93 Working with Others from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

This excerpt from the big book very much goes hand in hand with our third tradition which states that the only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking. That means that regardless of our religious/ spiritual beliefs or lack thereof we still get the opportunity to receive alcohol addiction help. Through going to a 30 day rehab program, A.A., or drug addiction detox we get the tools needed to come up with our own concept of a higher power. It is important when carrying the message to another alcoholic that we make the fact that they can choose their own higher power very clear. Many of us have either grown up with the concept of a damning or shaming God or no concept at all. So the idea of having to rely on a particular higher power can be scary. The fact that we get to mold our concept of a power greater then ourselves is an amazing part of recovery. It can be a source of love, comfort, and peace.

The Miracle of Change in Sobriety

“It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it to follow its suggestions. Many we are sure will rise to their feet and march on.” – pg. 153 A Vision For You from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

For many years AA as well as 30 day rehab programs, sober livings, and other drug addiction detox programs have had high success rates in regards to people seeking alcohol addiction help. Time and time again you see people go through these programs, sober up, and turn their lives around. We become happy, joyous, free, and usefully whole once again. We are filled with gratitude because we are able to do things, and form relationships we never expected to form. Our new life in sobriety is a far cry from when we were out using and drinking. Most of us had become shut off from the world, unable to function in society, spiritually bankrupt, and left feeling helpless/hopeless. When we get sober and do the work all of those problems seem to vanish. We become a productive and some may even say valuable asset to society. We begin to think about what we can bring to a situation rather than what we can take from it and as a result we reap the blessings and benefits.

Getting Sober and “First Things First”

“Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap. Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to extremes. At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions. He may either plunge into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business, or he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks or thinks of little else. In either case certain family problems will arise. With these we have had experience galore. We think it’s dangerous if he rushes headlong into his economic problem.” – pg. 125-126 The Family Afterward from The Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous

When we are newly sober and are just receiving alcohol addiction help it is important that we stick to doing the work around our disease. If we do that then everything else will fall into place. It’s a process. First things first…If we find that we need extra help getting sober we may choose to go to a drug addiction detox, AA, or a 30 day rehab program. At this point it is important that we do the work necessary for us to achieve long lasting sobriety. Over time we will be able to see how things are changing in our lives. We won’t need to try and fix everything right away because things have a way of getting better than we could have ever imagined if we just stay sober.

Privacy and Anonymity in Recovery

“We families of alcoholics anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others’ alcoholic troubles. This is a condition, which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Among us, these are rare occurrences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize to laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism and ridicule coming from another often produce the contrary effect”. – Pg125 The Family Afterward from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

It is one thing to share our experience, strength, and hope with someone who is looking for alcohol addiction help but it is a totally different story in regards to sharing others experiences. It is neither our right nor our responsibility to do so. If there is something we don’t have experience with and we wish to help someone by sharing someone else’s experience then we need to make it a point to ask that person if it is okay. In Los Angeles rehabs, AA, and other rehab programs in California we are taught to respect people’s privacy and boundaries. Keeping things confidential is of the utmost importance so that everyone can feel safe especially while working the steps. We all have a right to be here and to share our experience with the people we choose to. It is important that we don’t gossip but instead that we are sharing in order to carry the message to the newcomer so that they know that there is an alternative to living the way they are living.