Learning to Control our Emotional Natures

“… we couldn’t control our emotional natures…”  The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 52

What does controlling our emotional natures mean?  Have we run rampant over others, without any regard for them, due to our feelings?  How has this been magnified when we’ve been drinking and/or using?

Let’s consider how we’ve reacted to people when we’ve felt emotionally challenged while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.  When we’ve been angry, have we responded by shouting or screaming, name calling, or even physically lashing out?  Maybe we’ve taken the other route; being sullen & silent, behaving in a passive aggressive manner with the attempt at manipulating situations to try to wound the other person without every stating we were upset.

Now, while getting sober, it may be even more of a challenge to learn how to contend with our feelings while not defaulting to and relying on how we’ve reacted previously.  It is in the best interest of all for us to be willing to be reeducated, so to speak, in how we respond; recognizing and becoming mindful of how our reactions affect others.  The staff at this Los Angeles drug rehab has intricate knowledge of how to not only recognize when an overwhelming reaction is building up but to also quickly diffuse the emotional component of the situation.  In the moment, they offer a new view to what may be happening and a possible way of how to respond while still being in touch with our feelings, instead of allowing those feelings to be our only reaction.  This is, more often than not, a learned skill and simply because it might not be easy or even understandable, it can be acquired and honed over time.

Talking to Your Family About Alcohol Drug Rehab

For some, the most difficult things about entering drug addiction detox is breaking the news to family members. Before you check in, there are a few things that you can do to help others understand your decision, and to make the entire process easier on yourself, while ensuring you get all the support you need.

If your struggle with addiction has been a long one, It’s often a good idea to make arrangements prior to telling your family  – this shows that you are committed to getting help and getting sober. If, on the other hand, your loved ones have been kept in the dark regarding your addiction, your big news may be met with silence, tears, shock or even anger. Write down a few notes on what you want to say, and ask the people present not ask questions until you are finished speaking. Be honest and stay calm. Don’t procrastinate or make excuses – this is a conversation that needs to happen, and once it’s over you’ll be glad it did.

Explain the nature of your addiction. Alcohol and drug addiction is a disease, and for many – especially children – emphasizing the fact that you’ll be undergoing medical treatment, not having a “vacation”, will make your absence more understandable.

Educate family members on what will happen to you while you’re in rehab. Removing the unknowns will help family members feel more comfortable with the entire process. Begin by getting as much information as you can from your drug addiction rehab treatment about the day to day happenings in your treatment center, Visitation schedules and the rules of the program. Knowing that you’re safe in capable hands will help them relax and support you during this difficult time. Before you leave for rehab, sit down with family members and talk to them about  the treatment center. Show them pictures, and share brochures.

Let your loved ones know how often they can expect to hear from you. There are often restrictions placed on when and even if people undergoing treatment can contact their family members. Let everyone know that you won’t be able to talk or have visits with them very often, especially in the beginning of your treatment. If you have small children, find out when the first family visiting day is and mark this date together on a calendar before you leave. Make sure that any adults who will be caring for your children while you are in treatment knows this information as well, so that they can remind them when they get confused or are missing you. Informing everyone in advance will prevent unnecessary worry or hurt feelings. If possible, invite your family members to visit you during your stay in California rehab. Many drug and alcohol rehab centers offer family therapy sessions during treatment.

Let everyone know how things will be different when you return home from treatment. Sharing your goals for the future will enable your family members to do everything they can to support you and ensure your continued sobriety.

Discarding Old Ideas for New

“Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does?”  – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 52

How many times have we changed our minds about a situation, a person, an idea?  Our beliefs may have fluctuated throughout our lives depending on what we’ve learned, seen, heard and/or come to understand regarding a situation where initially we may have thought differently.  So, in this, we can look back and realize that perhaps our initial ideas weren’t always correct or as informed as we may have thought.

As we approach sobriety, we may need to reevaluate our belief systems, recognizing that the ones we have relied upon have not always led us to make the best choices and/or place ourselves in the optimum situations.  Perhaps it is time to rely on a different source for direction.  In this, we begin to realize our own concepts haven’t been as reliable.  Maybe, in our initial belief systems we were sure there was nothing greater than ourselves, that there wasn’t a greater Intelligent Power to guide us.

If we are as inclined to discard old ideas for new based on what we’ve learned through our lives, doesn’t it stand to reason that, perhaps, we may want to reevaluate our idea of relying on a Power greater than ourselves?  Even if we are still unable to fully grasp that idea, an idea which is constructed as we move forward by our own respective understanding, it could be conceivable that we function under the premise that there is a Power greater than us, whether we are ready to accept that in full or not.  When we live through the idea of something bigger than merely ourselves, we begin to live in a way that allows us to extend past our own designs and schemes and we bring the better part of ourselves into the world.

Packing for California Drug Rehabilitation

Well, you did it! You’ve made the decision to enter drug addiction rehab treatment. Now you’re going away for at least four weeks. What should you pack? Knowing what to bring (or not bring) will help you make the most of your stay, and focus on what’s important – sobriety!

Pack clothing suited to the weather in the area of your treatment center. If you’re headed across country, or to an area you haven’t visited before, it’s a good idea to check the weather forecasts and pack accordingly. Although rehab is serious business, many California drug rehab center programs offer outdoor activities such as hiking, swimming or yoga. Make sure you pack shoes and clothes which will allow you to participate in these activities.

Allowed personal items vary by program, so you’ll want to check with your facility before bringing items other than clothing. Some things you might want to inquire about include any prescribed medication, a favorite pillow or cozy blanket, hair care appliances, an alarm clock, photos of of family and friends and books.

Some prohibited items have to do with privacy concerns  – such as cameras and cell phones. Any products containing alcohol such as mouthwash, perfume or hairspray will not be allowed. Many rehabs have strict no jewelry, cash or electronics policies. Some centers do not allow candy, food or energy drinks and you should also plan to leave all sexually-explicit materials behind as well.

When you arrive at drug addiction detox, your self and your belongings will be searched to make sure that you haven’t accidentally (or purposely) brought any contraband items along. If banned items are found, those that are illegal will be taken away, and those that are not will be returned to you upon your departure.

Getting along with  the bare necessities and simplifying one’s life during your stay at alcohol drug rehab, helps you  to focus on the task at hand. After successful treatment, you  can go back to your life – and all of your stuff!

H.A.L.T.: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

haltH.A.L.T (Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired)

When getting sober, you may hear the staff at this California alcohol and drug rehabilitation center talk about recognizing what it means to H.A.L.T.  This concept is best served by putting this acronym into action.

What happens when we are hungry?  Perhaps we become easy to irritate, edgy, unable to concentrate, and with our single-purpose focus on that gnawing feeling in our stomach, we may yet be somewhat befogged by the lack of fuel for our bodies.  With all of that, the propensities toward additional misunderstandings leave others, and we may include ourselves in this, prone to unnecessary tension.

How many of us lash out when we are angry?  The bile of fury rises in our throats and we spit fire, with the potential to incite riotous feelings within whomever we come in contact.  Perhaps it inflates our sense of entitlement, fanning the flames of our arrogance which in turn causes us to treat others as less than.  Maybe we become short, curt, and terse coupled with a sharp tone when communicating; we burn people with whom we’ve come in contact with the hot iron of our ire.

Lonely; the word itself may immediately create an idea of a cry for attention.  When we are lonely we may be inclined to seek company that is less than beneficial to our well being.  We may indulge in self-pity, believing we are worthless, never to feel connected in the world.  This encompassing feeling of aloneness shadows our relationships.  Perhaps we fail to be even willing to connect, leaving us reveling in our own pit of despair blindfolded to the truth while thinking only of ourselves.

Tired can cause an inability to think clearly and while markedly impairing our immediate judgment; it may also sharpen our tongue propelling us to quickly lash out at others.  We could, potentially, be unable to focus, our concentration eclipsed leaving us inclined to be unable to complete a task that is required by work or needed by family or an ear for friends.  Maybe we decide we’ll get behind the wheel and in doing that we put others and ourselves at great risk, similar to driving while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.  Falling asleep at the wheel can kill.

We are guided by the alcohol and drug rehab staff to check in with ourselves, noting where we are at, being mindful of our responses to others, and, when we find we are feeling one or more of these, we immediately stop and address the issue(s) at hand.  The resolution of any one of them can open us back up to being available to others.  Our self-care directly contributes to our ability to be present and, when we are present, without the anvil of H.A.L.T. weighing us down, we are serving our most important purpose; being of service to others.

The Alcoholic Addict and Our Initial Desperation

“If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it – then you are ready to take certain steps.” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 58

When we are in a state of pure, unadulterated desperation, we easily agree to the idea of being “willing to go to any length”.  We are desperate in such a wholly and complete way that we may be inclined to think our dedication will last without fail.  If we can hold onto this sense of desperation, then, more than likely, we will, in fact, do whatever we have to do in order to get sober.

As we begin to rebuild our lives, we may, in fact, lose a sense of the driving pain that initially propelled us forward in our pursuit of relief.  The Recovery that we’ve been shown is legitimately possible by others has been constructed upon a very concrete foundation of misery.  When we are new, that agonizing despair is so close to and riding on the nerves of the very surface of our soul, it easy to access and overwhelming to feel.  All of this lends itself to being willing to do anything to return to a state of sanity.

What happens when our lives kick back in and begin to expand with newly-discovered opportunities?  Perhaps we go back to work, reacquire items we had lost, begin authentic friendships which differ from the lower companions and fair-weather company we may have kept.  What happens to that sense of desperation?  We may lose our grip on those feelings which firmly tethered us to our start in a Program and as we become more involved in life, we may become less and less overtly desperate.

This potentially eventual side-winding can be thwarted by working with newcomers and in seeing their fight to find a way to stay alive; we can be reinvigorated with the spirit of our desperation.  This gives us the resolve to continue living in Recovery as opposed to slowly sliding away, which becomes a slippery slope no true alcoholic and/or addict can afford.

Alcohol Drug Rehab Twelve Step Lingo

Drug addiction detox often includes Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. The Twelve Steps make up the foundation of Alcoholics Anonymous, which was founded in 1935 and now has over 2 million members. Utilizing the twelve steps of spiritual and character development  helps people in recovery stay sober. (Narcotics Anonymous groups also use these same twelve steps.) Aside from the Twelve Steps themselves, many AA and NA meetings might also make use of some or all  of the following terms or phrases listed below:

Birthday

When someone involved in AA says, “Today is my birthday,” they are referring to the anniversary of the day they became sober. At California rehab centers, this date is also called an “anniversary.”

Old-Timer

It’s length of sobriety time, not age that people are referring to when they call someone an “old-timer.” In some drug addiction rehab treatment groups, one qualifies as an old-timer 10 years; in others many more. Young people can be old-timers, and elderly people can be newcomers.

Time

At Los Angeles treatment centers, when someone talks about  their “time,” they’re not referring to time spent in rehab or jail, but are referring to the length of time they have been continuously sober.

Out

When a member of  AA says they “went out,” they’re talking about having a relapse into drinking or drug use after time spent sober. If you know someone who’s gone out, and is looking for help, contact us for drug rehab in California.

Think (Think, Think)

A common AA slogan, “Think, think think” is a reminder to take a pause before making a rash move such as using drugs or drinking.

Drug of Choice

“Drug of choice” is the primary way addicts chose to get high.

Last Drunk

This phrase refers to an alcoholic’s final binge, and most likely the one that caused them to hit rock bottom and seek drug addiction rehab treatment either in a rehab center or through attending 12 Step meetings.

Acceptance

In the 12 Step program, acceptance is realizing that alcoholism or addiction is a disease and a permanent part of one’s life. Finding an affordable drug treatment center is a way to accept the truth of an inability to stop drinking or using drugs without help.

The Need for the Newcomer

As you begin to attending AA/NA meetings, you may hear the statement “The newcomer is the most important person in the room.”

Perhaps you wonder how that could possibly be the case?  When was the last time you were welcome with open arms anywhere?

Upon your arrival to this Los Angeles drug and alcohol rehabilitation center, the staff will welcome you and will treat you accordingly.  Maybe it’s the first time in a long, long time we are being welcome anywhere.  It can be a foreign feeling, perhaps one that even elicits a suspicion of sorts.  It’s as if it’s in the staff doing that for us, it opens the door to others who may approach us with phone numbers, offering rides to meetings, sit down & extend themselves accordingly.  We may not feel so put off by those people and may even, depending, take them up on their generous offers.

Here’s why the response to their offerings may shed some light on the first idea.  When someone new presents themselves to us, we may need to forgo some of our upcoming plans.  In order for us to keep what we have so freely been given, we must extend ourselves to others.  As we do that, we are given the chance to reinforce our sober time.  We need the newcomer in order to survive.  With said newcomer, we get to go through the steps again ourselves while we are guiding them.  With that connection, they have the ability to inadvertently ground us in the reality of what happens when we are on a run or are coming into the program for the first time. They reinforce for us how that unmanageability exists and/or returns ever-so-shortly and what the state of their internal life is like, which, more often that not, reeks of misery & discomfort.

The connection we forge while working together is like no other and the gratitude that emerges from that very sharing with one another solidifies our spiritual connection.   Without the newcomer, we may not be able to treat our spiritual malady.  If we can’t do that, we may default to the physical craving.  After introducing the first drug or drink into the body, we may then be caught by the mental obsession keeping us bound to the prison of our minds and the substance(s).  In that, it leads us right back to that spiritual malady.  Subsequently the unmanageability that returns internally gets reflected externally and we reach for whatever’s going to, we hope, wipe away the pain and shame from our actions..  Working with one another acknowledges our need for the connections of our human spirit, whether we like it or not.  That newcomer’s desperation is our fuel by which we light the lamps of the roadway of sobriety, guiding us toward serenity.

The Alcoholic and the First Step – Part Two

“Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. … that our lives had become unmanageable.”  The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 59

Lets look at the other half of the First Step, “…that our lives had become unmanageable.”  What, exactly, is that unmanageability to which that line refers?  We can look at all the external aspects of our lives and nothing seems to be going right, everything’s askew, from finances to relationships to employment, etc.  Maybe, as we are at this alcohol and drug rehabilitation center in Los Angeles, it seems obvious that everything we have touched or are/have been involved with/in is less than manageable.  That may be, in and of itself, more than enough of a description and proof of our inability to handle anything in our lives.

With that said, the unmanageability that plainly shows itself in the day-to-day of our existence is no match for the unmanageability that is churning and roiling within us.  The drive to numb ourselves because of how we feel about the things we may have or have not done comes from the place of being so unsettled in the very core of our being.  That is true unmanageability; everything else outside of us is simply a vague reflection of where we are internally.

Coupled together with the first half of the First Step, it sums up our torturous misery and insanity regarding alcohol and/or drugs.  Fear not, the staff can help guide you into truly understanding this.  In assisting us toward our necessary and thorough First Step experience, it allows us the opportunity to move forward, out of our prison built on alcohol and drugs.  It no longer causes us to reside in that empty yet sick feeling in the place of our soul which leads us back again and again, no matter how much of our lives or the lives of those around us have disintegrated into sorrow and poverty, be it of the financial and/or spiritual kind.  There is a way out of that cycle however we must be open to learning new actions and the true meaning of the words by which we begin our new lives.

The Addict Alcoholic and the First Part of Step One

“Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol… ”  The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 59

There are moments when we can look at our lives, and there’s no question to us that everything seems completely and utterly amiss.    It’s easy to think, “Of course my life is unmanageable; here I am in a California rehab for alcohol and drugs.  It doesn’t get much more unmanageable than that.”   What might be missing in this thought process is the understanding of the first half of the First Step.  If we take a moment to really read the Step, it’s broken up into two distinct parts, both requiring a complete understanding and subsequently an experience beyond words solidifying their respective definitions.

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…”  What does that really mean?  Alcohol and drugs became our master and insidiously insured that we would do whatever we could, whenever we could, however we could have those items to imbibe at any cost.  Perhaps there were times when we wanted to stop drinking and/or taking drugs but no matter how hard we tried to marshal our very will to not to smoke that pipe or pop that pill or stick the needle in our veins or drink that fifth, we could not stop.  What’s more powerless than being sucked back into taking actions we don’t want to take and yet continuing them as if there is no tomorrow?  Where, suddenly, as life is taking a turn for the better, or for the worse, or having very little change at all, we find ourselves drinking and/or drugging with complete abandon, all the while thinking, “I want to stop.  Please help me stop.” and we simply just cannot.

This is a sense of Powerlessness that surpasses anything tangible.  It is a deep set, intrinsic understanding that reinforces the concept and feeling that there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, we can do to control this.  In effect, we are at its full mercy, beholden to its wicked, strangling grasp.  An essence of Powerlessness that surpasses anything we could have ever imagined.