Why is Honesty in Recovery Important?

Honesty is an Important Recovery Tool

Many in recovery have found that honesty is an invaluable tool for staying sober. But even before they took on a program of recovery, they probably had to use the honesty tool. They had to look at themselves squarely in the eye and admit that they had a problem. That opened the door to receive help and support from others to not only stay clean and sober, but to stay honest.

Just about all addicts lie about their alcohol and drug consumption. They lie to avoid conflict, they lie to stay out of jail, they lie to preserve relationships. But the most damaging deception of all is the lie they tell themselves, which is called denial. Denial rejects the help of professionals who could guide individuals to receive the advocacy, tips, and advice that might save their lives. This kind of dishonesty keeps them out of recovery and perpetuates the suffering that comes from the disease of addiction.

Staying Sober Means Staying on the Path of Integrity

Honesty opens the door to recovery, and light comes pouring in. It’s one of the main keys in learning how to stay clean and sober. And it’s like any discipline. It has to be built into one’s daily habits until it becomes second nature. It might be best to start small – maybe find one person who can be trusted with secrets and challenges, who can help with the honesty tool by calling out any lies – big or small. In twelve-step programs this person is called a sponsor. Taking stock every night about how honesty has played a role in one’s day is another good way to maintain honesty and sobriety.

It’s impossible to stay honest all of the time, of course. Dishonesty may creep up once in a while, but it can be dealt with immediately by taking responsibility and being determined to continue with integrity. Doing so will provide a sure foundation for staying sober.

[cta]If you’re ready to be honest with yourself & get help, contact us to speak with someone who’s been in your shoes[/cta]

Chris Hardwick and the Challenge of Rebuilding a Life After Alcohol Addiction

Chris Hardwick learned the hard way that life is not just one big party. The comedian landed a job at the age of 22 as co-host of MTV’s Singled Out reality show, and seemed to have everything going for him. But after years of partying, fooling around, and alcohol addiction, the then 30-year-old realized he was not where he wanted to be in life. He was unhappy with his career, with his appearance, and with his personal life, and he knew he had to change.

2003 was the year that began Hardwick’s transformation. He began his alcoholism recovery, began to eat right and exercise, and focused on his health like never before. Today Hardwick is a successful comedian who has recently hosted several TV shows. One of his greatest successes has been as host of Comedy Central’s hit series, @Midnight, currently working on its third season.

The celebrity has much advice for those who are stuck in a rut, suffering from alcohol addiction and can’t see the way back to a happy and healthy life. Hardwick wrote about his life-changing decision to get better in his column on Nerdist.com in 2011. “You can turn your life around for the better. Honestly,” said Hardwick. “I was at a total dead-end with little hope of resurrecting a decent life. I humbly place my low point at your feet and tell you that if you’re thinking about making improvements in your life, TODAY IS THE DAY TO START. Quitting drinking, starting exercising, eating better, pursuing your passion, hugging more puppies–whatever it is. Don’t think about it. Just do it. Over-thinking the ‘hows’ and ‘why comes’ will put you in a never ending loop of inactivity. You have the power and ability to change the future with a simple ‘pro-you’ decision.”

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Lesser Know Ways Families Enable the Addict

Familiar ways of enabling the addict include taking responsibility for his or her bills or other obligations, providing shelter and food for the person who refuses to work and uses instead, and making excuses to others for the addict’s poor behavior. By engaging in these common enabling behaviors, we allow our loved ones to avoid the results of addiction, and the addict or alcoholic has less motivation for recovery. Standing back and allowing a family member or dear friend to suffer the devastating outcomes of addiction is painfully difficult. But sometimes, it’s the only way an addict can come to the kind of low point required for making difficult changes. Being aware of even the more subtle ways of enabling the addict may be important to your loved one’s recovery.

Lesser Known Ways to Enable the Addict

  • Exaggerating or embellishing your own past behavior to diminish the addict’s guilt. If you’re apt to say something like, “I was just like you at your age,” or “If you think that’s bad, here’s what I did when I was drinking and using,” you may be enabling the addict by providing justification for your loved one’s behavior. While we don’t want our addicts to feel bad about themselves, we do want them to know their behavior is hurtful not only to themselves but to others. Stay away from your own drinking and drugging stories and focus on what you’ve done to improve your situation.
  • Repairing common property broken by the addict. If the addict has broken a piece of property he or she owns with you, it’s tempting to fix it, since it’s partly yours. But this is a way to enable the addict. For instance, if the addict has run over a garden along the driveway of a house you own together, it makes sense to take care of it. On the other hand, letting it remain in disrepair may be a good reminder for the addict every time he or she drives into the driveway. Let the addict do the repair.
  • Providing rewards for recovery. Sometimes addicts relapse chronically in order to get the attention and rewards that come from returning to recovery. When someone enters recovery or comes back after a relapse, it’s best to acknowledge the courage it took but without fanfare or material rewards. Let the outcomes of recovery be the addict’s reward.

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Practicing Forgiveness in June for Addiction Recovery

For those in addiction recovery, June 26 is officially marked Forgiveness Day. While drinking and abusing substances created many opportunities for resentment, in recovery the potential for forgiveness is one of the most valuable spiritual principals. All religions hold the power of forgiveness in high regard, however working a program of recovery doesn’t mean you have to be religious to benefit from the restorative power of this kind of compassion.

There are stages of being ready and willing to forgive, and making a journey through sobriety, coming to terms with the past and letting go is an important process. While each person is unique and will have their own experience with forgiveness and acceptance, it’s imperative to begin making steps toward this practice in daily life.

One of the most important tools in addiction recovery is letting go of resentment. In confronting resentment it’s important to be objective and evaluate the role we play in our own resentments- how we fuel them, what we do to inadvertently hang onto them when it isn’t helpful or effective.

By taking a close look in this way, it’s possible to see how resentment only hurts the person holding the resentment. By holding a grudge, feeling bitter or intolerant and carrying those feelings and attitudes around on a regular basis, stress and strain begin to impact our own experiences with life. It’s really a no- win situation.

In the moments where we recognize that the resentment isn’t benefiting anyone, and search for a different solution, the spirituality of this principal takes place. Instead of sitting in the stiff, uncomfortable feelings, letting go and practicing tolerance of others and self will inevitably yield a kind of forgiveness, even for the toughest of resentments. Take the time this month to see the transformative power of forgiveness in your life, and the benefits of working a strong program of addiction recovery.

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Above It All Takes Part in ‘Intervention’ Television Program

In an episode titled Samantha, Above It All recently worked with the producers of the A&E television reality show “Intervention.” The show was an excellent opportunity to educate and inform the public about the hope and help offered by addiction intervention and treatment.

Working with Ken Seeley, a professional interventionist from Intervention911, and A&E productions, we are helping to get the word out about the help that is available to families and friends of addicts who want to encourage their loved ones to seek treatment. We understand the desperation that families and friends feel when they love someone who is suffering from the disease of addiction. We understand the feelings of shame and guilt causes by the chaos of an addict’s behavior. We are here to reach out when they believe they have exhausted every possible method to encourage their loved ones seek help. We connect families with a license professional who will work with them in approaching the addict with compassionate caring. The interventionist listens to each family’s individual needs and then helps to devise a plan for a face-to-face meeting to address the facts of the addict’s behavior.

Family Treatment Helps Increase Success of Recovery

When an alcoholic or addict agrees to enter a treatment program, the first step is detox. Detox provides a time for medical and psychiatric evaluation. The time spent in detox varies from individual to individual, depending on the substances used and the duration of use. When clients have achieved enough physical and emotional balance to move on, residential treatment helps them address underlying issues that have contributed to their addiction. Family members join the treatment process to learn about the disease of addiction and their role in it. We help clients and their families develop new, more effective methods of communication as they all work together toward a new chance at life free from the chains of alcohol or drug addiction.

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Letting the Sinner & Saint Go During Addiction Recovery

There are a many ways to express a healthy mindset during addiction recovery: cut yourself some slack, stop self-judgment and start self-acceptance. But Irish poet and novelist Oscar Wilde said it most pristinely when he said that, “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”

It’s a simple mantra for those in drug and alcohol addiction recovery, it would be difficult to find a better one. While it may seem so to someone struggling with personal and social issues, there really isn’t anyone who is all perfect or free from pain or doubt.

Drop the Dualities

Accept the fact that the past and the future can co-exist. Self-acceptance during addiction recovery means letting go of saint or sinner and just learning to be fully, complexly human. One day at a time. It also means that society must stop categorizing individuals with pasts that include addictions or mental health issues.

Life was no picnic for Oscar Wilde. But even through personal challenges, tragedies and imprisonment, he was adamant about two particular things: it is better to live than merely exist, and no-one is more qualified to be oneself than…oneself! Neither totally good or completely bad, humans can’t be defined merely by their pasts or in comparison to others.

Above it All wants to hear your comments and experiences! Share your thoughts on how you’ve let go of the idea of all-saints and only-sinners during addiction recovery.

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Families Dealing With Addiction Sing “If Only . . .” Theme Song

When a loved one suffers from abuse of drugs or alcohol, the family suffers, too. On one hand, addiction is a disease of isolation, but at the same time, it affects families, friends, neighbors and employers. The No. 1 symptom affecting substance abusers and the people who love them is denial. One result of denying the reality of drug and alcohol addiction is learning to sing an “if only” theme song. The lyrics go something like this for the substance abuser:

  • “If only I didn’t have such a lousy job, I would be able to quit drinking.”
  • “If only my wife hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have to drown my loneliness in alcohol.”
  • “If only my mother hadn’t died of cancer, I would have a chance to show her I could sober up.”
  • “If only I had let my designated driver take me home, I wouldn’t be sitting in jail with a DUI.”

The verses go like this for families:

  • “If only I had been home when he called, I could have picked him up.”
  • “If only we could move to a better neighborhood, she would make different friends.”
  • ‘If only my husband didn’t have to work so late, he would be here to see what I see.”
  • “If only we had enough money, we could put her through rehab.”

All of these scenarios have elements of denial. They all wish for a different reality.

Acceptance Of Reality Gives Recovery A Chance

In order for substance abusers and their families to recover from addiction, the first step is accepting reality by living in the present. Regrets over the past cannot change the past. The best hopes for the future cannot be created by wishes. The only time for action is the present, and the only control we have is over ourselves. Reality involves facing shame, guilt, anger and a host of other emotions. It is not an easy process. Treatment centers and support programs have experience in helping substance abusers and their families recognize and face the realities of addiction, often through people who have experienced the realities of addiction themselves. Reaching out to companions on the journey of recovery can make all the difference.

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Holiday Gift Ideas for Loved Ones in Recovery

The holiday season is nearing and you can put your mind at ease because we have some great recovery gift ideas for you. Start with one of these stocking stuffers: choose from a pocket-sized card printed with the timeless wisdom of the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Serenity Prayer or the Eleventh Step Bookmark. These small gifts reinforce the importance of daily reflection and prayer. Provide encouragement and support for your loved one by giving them something to read. A Woman’s Way through the Twelve Steps is a recognized effective approach to helping women find serenity through the Twelve Steps. A lighter take on recovery, but with spot on convincing advice, is 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery. In simple, easygoing language, the author explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. The book also offers helpful suggestions for working these solutions into daily life. Finally, Tales of Addiction and Inspiration for Recovery: Twenty True Stories from the Soul, a highly praised and popular account includes the author and her son sharing their story of pain and struggle. It includes many other inspiring stories collected over two years from real people who share their difficulties in intimate details.

Other holiday gifts that can encourage lifelong recovery and personal growth include jewelry with inspirational messages, like a Serenity Prayer Recovery Stretch Bracelet. If you like the idea of giving jewelry or handmade items, you will love our next suggestion. Etsy.com is a place where you can find unique holiday gifts for the man or woman in recovery. There are medallions with the third step and other prayers, and journals for doing step work and keeping gratitude lists. Jewelry can also be customized with your sobriety date. Your loved one will be comforted and touched when you give them one of these thoughtful gifts to show you support their recovery.

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Facts About Alcohol Abuse & Alcoholism

While alcoholism has in the past carried with it a stigma that has caused sufferers to hide their disease and refrain from seeking treatment, the consequences of alcohol abuse are widespread and require skilled professional help in order to combat them.

These facts from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reflect just how common alcohol abuse and alcoholism are – and how dangerous:

Facts about alcohol abuse in the US and globally

Approximately 62,000 men and 26,000 women die every year in the United States from alcohol related causes. This makes alcohol and its effects the third leading preventable cause of death in the country.

3.3 million deaths globally in 2012 were the result of alcohol consumption. This number makes up 5.9 percent of global deaths that year.

10,322 driving fatalities or 31 percent of all driving fatalities, in the United States in 2012 were attributed to alcohol impairment.

Facts about alcohol use among the underage

Alcohol use during the teenage years can interfere with brain development and can contribute to many dire consequences, including death. Facts about alcohol use among people ages 12-20 include:

  • 9.3 million reported drinking alcohol in the past month
  • 5.9 million were binge drinkers
  • 1.7 million were heavy drinkers, having engaged in binge drinking at least five times in one month

Facts about alcohol among college students

According to a 2012 study of college students ages 18-22:

  • 60.3 percent had consumed alcohol in the past month
  • 40.1 percent had engaged in binge drinking within the past month
  • 14.4 percent had engaged in heavy drinking in the past month
  • Researchers estimate that around 20% of college students qualify as having an alcohol use disorder

Treatment for alcoholism

These statistics make it clear that alcohol abuse is far-reaching and carries many dangers. However, quitting alcohol cold turkey is also dangerous and should only be attempted while under close medical supervision.

Within days after quitting, hallucinations, convulsions and even heart seizure can occur. For months thereafter, withdrawal symptoms can include the following:

  • Nausea
  • Insomnia
  • Anxiety
  • Shakiness/Trembling
  • Seizures
  • Delirium tremens
  • Profuse sweating
  • Convulsions

These symptoms will last longer depending upon how long and how heavily the patient drank, but can be managed with medications that will ease their severity.

Seeking treatment in order to end alcohol dependence is always the safest course of action. Make a difficult and dangerous situation easier on yourself by getting professional help.

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Drug Addiction Facts

Addiction is a fearsome struggle to deal with, both as an addict and as a family member. Although struggling with addiction seems insurmountable, it can be defeated with commitment to wellness and to treatment. One of the hardest things to do when battling addiction is pinpointing when drug abuse has turned into addiction; this is also the first step in the journey toward reaching recovery from your addiction. You should keep drug addiction facts in mind if you are worried that you or someone you care about is displaying the behaviors of an addict. Here are three signs that drug abuse has evolved into addiction.

Extreme changes in emotion trigger cravings.

Drug abusing behaviors tend to become the central focal point in an addict’s life. Any change in emotion, especially extreme changes, will trigger a craving for drugs. Over time, drug abuse alters your brain and becomes linked with the release of dopamine; a chemical in your central nervous system responsible for triggering pleasure in the brain. With negative emotions, use of the drug will increase levels of dopamine in your brain, helping you feel good. Drug use accompanying positive emotions will cause your natural dopamine levels to surge even higher.

Work and school are no longer priorities.

One of the most common drug addiction facts is that an addict prioritizes drug abuse above all else. An addict will lose sight of the value of work and school, instead favoring their time to abuse drugs. Performance quality at work and school will devolve and it is likely that the addict will show up late or stop showing up completely.

When confronted, the addict will likely become defensive. Due to the chemical changes that occur in your brain as a consequence of long term drug abuse, excuses for erratic, illogical priorities will become prevalent.

Ill health accompanies drug addiction.

If you have become a drug addict, you will likely suffer from ill health. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally in a positive way is no longer a priority. An addict’s personal hygiene is lower than what is usually acceptable and the long-term abuse of drugs will show ill effects on hair growth, weight and oral hygiene.

With commitment and trust in the treatment process, it is completely possible to recover from addiction. Make your own health and wellness a priority and seek help if you need it.

[cta]For more information on how Above It All Treatment can help you take that first step to recovery from an addiction, please contact us today. We’re here 24/7 to help.[/cta]