The 12 Steps, Fact and Fiction

The 12 Steps – Fact & Fiction

The number of negative stigmas associated with 12 step recovery programs is numerous. Whether through media, television or personal experience, a great number of people have been provided with ideas designed to debunk the benefits associated with these support forums. Those seeking aid in their addiction recovery must sift through the myths in order to obtain a better understanding of the true process and rewards found within a 12 step community. In this entry, we will seek to illuminate some of the more common myths and questions surrounding 12 step meetings.

1 – 12 step programs are most certainly a religious or cult affair. This is common knowledge due to the fact that they meet in churches and keep to themselves.

False – 12 step programs can be found in a wide variety of places. Though some certainly hold their meetings in houses of worship, others can be found at the local YMCA, a coffee shop or independent AA facility.  Some meetings can cater towards religion, while others choose non-affiliation.

2 – What’s with all the god talk?

The “Higher Power” concept that is referenced throughout AA is employed as a way to help participants accept that there are forces in this world that are greater and more powerful than them. In this way, participants can better grasp the concept that they require help to overcome their addiction. A “Higher Power” can refer to a belief in god, nature, or anything else that holds a power greater than your own.

3 – What if I quit on my own… Do I still need AA?

Yes ma’am! Whether you achieve sobriety through Above It All Treatment Center or on your own, the need for 12 step recovery programs is one and the same. Sobriety is an ongoing struggle, and one that should not be fought alone. Committing yourself to continued recovery practices, such as AA, will provide you with the support, guidance and confidence you need to maintain your sobriety while learning the proper coping techniques to control it long-term.

4 – How long must I continue attending these meetings?

Attendance at 12 step meetings is very similar to working out. Even after you’ve achieved your fitness goals, you must continue working out to maintain your progress. Those who begin slacking at the gym will ultimately revert back to the same old starting point. Maintaining your sobriety is key, and will serve as your relapse prevention. And hey… ya never know… you just might learn to enjoy it!

5 – I’m much too busy to attend these types of meetings.

No you’re not. Consider how much time and effort went into keeping your addiction alive and well. You were able to find plenty of time to call into work, miss appointments and get your fix. What the heck are you doing with all that free time now? Nothing worth having is every easily obtained. If you’re intent on your sobriety, it will be your priority.

Acceptance (Part 1)

An acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is suppose to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in god’s will by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and on my attitudes.

When we first get sober there is potentially a lot of willingness and desperation, but very little acceptance. Most of us are full of fear when we get sober. How are we suppose to accept life on life’s terms sober when the only way we know how to live and cope is through drinking and using? The whole idea of acceptance is a hard thing to grasp when first seeking alcohol addiction help. It is something that we can begin to understand fully and incorporate into our everyday lives the longer we stay sober through the help of places like an addiction program in Los Angeles, AA, or other forms of 12 step program addiction help. Once we learn how to truly accept things we can begin to appreciate the blessings we do have in life. Instead of worrying about what we don’t have or what we have lost we can begin to live in the moment and be grateful for what we do have.

What To Do After Rehab

Following your release from Above It All, you may be anxious in regard to the direction you should head next. In order to achieve the happy and fulfilling lifestyle you’re after, you’ll need to place a heavy emphasis on implementing the lessons learned throughout your substance abuse rehabilitation experience. If you do not continue your efforts once you’ve arrived home, the chances of maintaining your sobriety will quickly diminish. In this entry, we will offer up a few tips to help you through the transition from rehab back to everyday life.

Therapy

Locate a support group. Hop online and search for local 12-step meetings in your area. Most every region has meetings available, and membership is free of charge. Consider asking your Above It All addiction counselor for a recommendation on area groups. Not only will these meetings help maintain your commitment to sobriety, but they often provide members with a forum to express themselves openly while meeting and engaging with new friends.

Financial Rehab

Obtain a job that does not require you to handle alcohol or drugs. Your addiction counselor and family should be able to point you in the direct direction, but you must be driven to work. Sit yourself down and write out a plan to help pay off your expenses and debt. Stick to your plan, keeping a budget and paying off your debts one by one over time.

Relationship Rehab

Write out a list of the people that have been hurt by your actions prior to obtaining drug and alcohol addiction help. Next to each name, jot down the ways in which you hurt the individual, along with a way to rectify the situation. It’s important to note that not every situation may be fixable. In certain instances, the only way to make things right is to focus on your recovery, and show the individual how you’ve changed.

Sober Living

Make sure to determine your living arrangements prior to leaving Above It All. If you already have a home in mind, be sure to consider the potential outcomes of the arrangement. Does your family mind having you back? Do your friends have space available? Do your friends use alcohol or drugs?

Research local sober living homes and call a few to locate one that suits your needs and goals. Most homes will have a list of rules and guidelines to follow in order to maintain your residence. Rent will be due each month. Can you meet these requirements?

Relapse Prevention

Perhaps the most important concentration area post rehab is relapse prevention. Know your triggers and avoid situations that may include them. If certain triggers are unavoidable, be sure to have a plan set in place to deal with them properly. By sticking to your sobriety and the support system you arrange, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.

 

Getting Addiction Help When You’re Young

Making the decision to get sober is already a difficult thing. It’s already hard enough sometimes to hit a bottom when were older let alone when were young. Since alcoholics have a tendency to defend our right to drink and use to the death many of us don’t receive or ask for alcohol addiction help until we are older. However these days there are a lot more young people getting sober through the help of places like AA, or California rehab centers. We see more and more young people getting here at such an early age such as 16,17,18 years old or even younger that work the steps, go to some sort of drug rehab facility in LA, and as a result of one or both things achieve long lasting recovery. It’s a beautiful thing. some people that get sober young might have the lingering questions such as was it just a phase?, did I get sober too young?, do I have another drinking spree left in me because I’m so young?, or how can I be or admit I’m  an alcoholic when I’ve never had a legal drink? We as alcoholics are always trying to prove ourselves exceptions to the rules or terminally unique. These thoughts to a young alcoholic are only icing on the cake when it comes to trying to be the exception. While it might seem more difficult the fact is that if you get the opportunity to get sober young and you take it you too can recover the same way all of us have. Not only that but there will have been most likely less wreckage caused and an amazing long life ahead of you. There are several young people’s events and meetings available to you if you’re young and ready to get sober. As young people in recovery we don’t suffer through sobriety. Instead we insist on enjoying every second of it. For we are grateful, know how blessed we are, and know that our sober lives are way too valuable to take for granted.

The Alcoholic Addict and Dealing with Other Addictions in Sobriety

As alcoholics in recovery we may or may not encounter other forms of addiction that can pop up throughout our sobriety. There are some alcoholics that only need alcohol addiction help or some addicts that only need a 30 day rehab, AA, or a Los Angeles rehab because they don’t experience the addictive behavior with things other than alcohol or drugs. Then there is the other type who after getting sober realizes that  either they’ve replaced their main addiction with  something else or have  began to see that they have had problems in other areas all along but weren’t aware of them until now. For this kind of alcoholic it seems sometimes more difficult to address these situations then it was to address our alcoholism partially because the devastation and wreckage from alcoholism was perhaps more noticeable then these other addictions. Addictions can begin to surface in areas least expected such as food, men, women, shopping, excersising etc. Though not necessarily shocking. After all we as alcoholics are constantly seeking elevated moods. Whatever it is we pray and work the steps around it the way we do with alcohol. We begin to realize that if we have faith and do the work the battle with any addiction can be won. We begin to get more connected to our truest , and purest selves and start to see that if we love ourselves then we don’t need to constantly try to fill the hole with people, places, and things  that not only hurt us but also never really fix us either.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step 12

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principals in all of our affairs.”

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion: carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill. Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends- this is an experience you must not miss.” pg 89 working with others from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Our primary purpose is to stay sober and to help another alcoholic achieve sobriety and that is exactly what step 12 is all about. Whether we went through a 30 day rehab program, other facilities, or did it without the help of treatment, once we seek alcohol addiction help, work the steps, and recover as a result it is then time for us to pay it forward. We give back what was freely given to us, so that others may have a shot at sobriety. There is great joy in knowing that we have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and an even greater joy in giving that gift to someone else. It’s how we stay sober. Newcomers are our lifelines. Just like we went to any lengths to recover, we’d go to any lengths to help the newcomer. Perhaps it’s a matter of reaching our hand out, talking, meeting up with them, or maybe it’s a matter of speaking whether it be in a meeting or places such as a California alcohol rehab we make sure that we are the best example we can be and that we carry the message of recovery. Through sobriety we get to live such a blessed and amazing life. Let’s stick around and do the work, so that others may get this opportunity as well.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step 11

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscience contact with God as we understood him. Praying only for the knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.”

Step 11 suggests power and meditation we should be shy on this prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it- pg 86 into action from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

It is also suggested to us that when we retire at night we review our day, we ask ourselves were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves? Were we kind and loving towards all? What could we have done better? We also ask ourselves if we were thinking about what we can do for others versus thinking of only ourselves. When we wake up we also review the 24 hours ahead as well. This step is about maintaining a conscience contact with a higher power and remaining unblocked so that we may be able to help the newcomer. It is also about getting in touch with our highest self. Is and when we go to a 30 day rehab program and decide to work the steps there will be counselors available to help teach you about step 11 and the other steps, especially since these days most LA rehab programs incorporate 12 step addiction practices. This is extremely helpful in relation to the 11th step in the sense that the guidance that is needed will be available to you without having to seek it out in many different areas. In program there is a saying, “more will be revealed” and that’s exactly what the results in the 11th step. Not only do we get a conscience contact with our higher power but also with ourselves and our fellows as well. This is the core from which our peace, compassion, brotherly love, and happiness derive from.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Ten

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

“This brings us to step 10, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.” – Into action pg 84 from the Big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

In step ten we continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When they crop up we ask God at once to remove them. Step 10 is a maintenance step. We review our fears, resentments, and parts on paper. We then look at where we had been selfish, self seeking, and dishonest. We ask ourselves where had we been dishonest? Did we arouse jealousy? Whom had we hurt? If anyone was harmed we immediately make it right. We admit our faults and amend our behavior. When we sought alcohol addiction help we agreed to go to any lengths to stay sober. Cleaning our wreckage up is a small price to pay as well as a rewarding experience. Through places like drug addiction detox, 12 step programs, or perhaps a drug addiction facility in LA we are taught how to work the steps, and adapt to this new way of living. Those of us in recovery are given an amazing life beyond our wildest dreams. All we have to do is ask for help and be willing to do the footwork.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Nine

“Made a direct amends to people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.”

“Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past we attempt to sweep away the debris, which has accumulated out of our own effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.  If we haven’t the will to do this we ask until it comes.  Remember we agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.” -pg 76 Into Action from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

In step nine we get the opportunity to right what was once wrong and clean up our side of the street thanks to the help of places such as a Los Angeles rehab, AA or 30 day rehab programs.  We set out to clean up our wreckage, we go to people we have harmed and being careful not to cause more harm, we laid out and address our wrongdoings as well as ask how we can make it better.  This can definitely be a scary process.  No one wants to go to people and admit their faults let alone try to clean it up.  Sometimes it might seem easier to just brush it all under the rug.  After all, what if they are still angry, how will they react?  Many of us don’t want to feel bad, it’s the alcoholic’s mission to seek elevated moods and search for happiness so why would we want to rehash the past and feel guilty? For starters, this is not about them or their reactions, it is about us staying sober and being willing to go to any lengths.  Secondly, there is a freedom that comes from owning our parts and amending our behaviors.  It’s not only something that we need to do but get to do in order to be an example, so that if someone else is struggling with this disease they might know there is a place available or someone to go to for alcohol addiction help.

As it says in our responsibility statement: “When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there and for that I am responsible.”  Responsibility is not only owning our part but also going to any lengths to work the steps to the best of our ability.

The Alcoholic Addict and Step Seven

“Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.”

We ask god to help us be willing when ready we say something like this: “my creator I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. i pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” We have then completed Step 7 – pg 76 Into Action from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In Step 6 and Step 7 we are cleaning house. Step 7 is a continuation of Step 6. We continue to become more aware of our defects of character and pray to have them removed. If we are unwilling then we simply pray for the willingness. As we talked about before the most difficult thing about being willing to be rid of our shortcomings is the fact that we think some of them still work for us. However as soon as they are removed we often times see they were not working for us, but in fact they were hurting us and others. When we finally let go of them we begin to see that living an honest and clean life is much more beneficial in the sense that not only is there less harm being done to ourselves and others, but also less negative consequences. As it says in the big book “if we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let god take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are the facts out of our experiences.” in order to get to the point of complete surrender or in preparation for the steps it would be beneficial to research places and things such as FAQs about rehab and recovery in Los Angeles, recovery testimonials California, AA, and California Rehab Centers. These resources will most likely to be able to answer any questions you might have. After completing step 7 we continue to be aware of our shortcomings when they crop up and once again we immediately ask god to remove them. This is a very crucial step when it comes to self-love and developing with ourselves and others. The payoff is the absence of dissonance, increased self-esteem and an amazing ability to handle situations which use to baffle us as a result of having and surrendering to a power greater than ourselves.