During our journey we can become very serious, especially after seeking out alcohol addiction help and getting sober. it is important to remember to have fun along the way. Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as if fun isn’t important or near impossible when we are entering into a 30 day rehab program or a drug addiction detox. We tend to value step work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally important, light side of silliness and laughter. It is equally important to have fun in sobriety as it is to be serious about our sobriety. We all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world and for living a happy and sober life. Laughter is good medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into our lives. Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves and sobriety so that we stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on step work, or take some time for introspection until our next round of fun begins.
Choices and Change in Sobriety
There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices, addictions, and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices, addictions, and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel bad—uneasy, unhappy, unsure. We might go so far as to label ourselves “bad” when a situation like this arises. We might think were bad because of the things we have done before seeking alcohol addiction help or because of our failed attempts at getting sober through a drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab program. These things do not make us bad, or weak it just means we have a disease of the mind body and spirit. Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions and sobriety.. An important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms. You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label you good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self as well as towards continuous sobriety or in the direction of stagnation, potential relapse or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.
Hitting Rough Spots in Sobriety
Sometimes throughout our sobriety we might hit a few rough patches along the way. It may seem like it shouldn’t be happening or that it’s unfair. After all why did we seek alcohol addiction help if we were going to experience hard times? Why did we do the work, go to a 30 day rehab, or a drug addiction detox if it wasn’t going to be smooth sailing from then on out? The fact is that things that are or will come up are just a part of life. There is not a whole lot that one can do to change circumstance. We may find ourselves thinking that this is not what our lives should look like at x amount of years sober. Its times like this we need to remember that we didn’t get sober originally for the stuff, or for what we could get out of it. We got sober because we were trapped by our disease in this unbearable hell and many of us just wanted to be able to stop drinking. We need to remember that the only thing we are promised is that we can stop drinking if we do the work. so all the other stuff like friends, cars, houses, jobs, happiness, joy, and peace are extra blessings that we should be grateful for. If we stay in gratitude we can stay out of self-pity. If we only want what we need then we will always have what we want. We will be able to see that we are blessed beyond belief to not only recover from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body but also to live this amazing life. We have been given a second chance!
Dropping Our Defenses and Making Change
We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. for example us as alcoholics are constantly seeking elevated moods usually through alcohol. We know we are powerless and have lost the ability to choose a different path even though we know it no longer works for us. We continue on, not knowing exactly how lost we were and how much damage drugs and alcohol did until we seek alcohol addiction help and get into a drug addiction detox or an affordable rehab. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because there is a spiritual solution as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth and hope that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to be free from the bondage of our addiction.
Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Especially when our drinking began to really take off and we started losing control. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us.
When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, as well as the true nature of our disease then we can begin to heal.
Addiction, Getting Sober, and Adding to the Story of Our Lives
Everything in our lives adds on to our story; it’s what we do with that story that matters…
One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change but are powerless over. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, how to go about seeking alcohol addiction help, trying to figure out which drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab to go to, and we may even have given up. The fact is that every detail of our life has shaped and molded us, it either brings us closer to who we are and want to be or it keeps us further away from our ideal as alcoholics we often times do the same thing over and over again expecting different results when it comes to drugs and alcohol. This type of behavior can often leave us feeling helpless. However if we look at the story of our life there always seems to be some point in it when we were not dependent on alcohol…for example our childhood. For many of us there was a time in life where all was well before we got engulfed in our disease, and if we have an ounce of faith or willingness we find that that place is still accessible if we do the work. We can choose to stay sick and enslaved to this disease because of the lies we tell ourselves as a result of our story or we can draw from those times where we caught a glimpse of what life could be like if we weren’t dependent and decide to get help. The choice is yours.
Changing Your Life, Changing Your Story
Everything in our lives adds on to our story. It’s what we do with that story that matters…
One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change but are powerless over. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, how to go about seeking alcohol addiction help, trying to figure out which drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab to go to, and we may even have given up. The fact is that every detail of our life has shaped and molded us, it either brings us closer to who we are and want to be or it keeps us further away from our ideal as alcoholics we often times do the same thing over and over again expecting different results when it comes to drugs and alcohol. This type of behavior can often leave us feeling helpless. However if we look at the story of our life there always seems to be some point in it when we were not dependent on alcohol…for example our childhood. For many of us there was a time in life where all was well before we got engulfed in our disease, and if we have an ounce of faith or willingness we find that that place is still accessible if we do the work. We can choose to stay sick and enslaved to this disease because of the lies we tell ourselves as a result of our story or we can draw from those times where we caught a glimpse of what life could be like if we weren’t dependent and decide to get help. The choice is yours.
The Alcoholic and Change
Change can enter our lives silently and this change can be just as important as change we have worked hard for.
We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we want to change. Often, this desire leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly without us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more or in our case he have managed to stay sober for a good chunk of time. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace. Sobriety can be like this too in the sense that we get a moment of clarity long enough to see that we need alcohol addiction help and need to change the way were living. Many of us don’t need to work hard in order to come to that conclusion. We simply have been living our lives, and as the disease progresses we see that things have to change and that carrying on like this is no longer working for us.
As alcoholics, sometimes we have relatively short attention spans, and easily lose sight of the fact that we need help or change our minds and go back to thinking that drugs and alcohol will work for us. That is why going to a drug addiction detox, meetings, or an affordable rehab are important things to consider. They serve as a constant reminder of where we came from and why we decided to get and stay sober. Despite seeking help from treatment facilities or outside help this doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change—they do. It’s just that
Doing Your Best vs. Being the Best
We often come into contact with the idea that our best isn’t good enough, as if this were actually possible. If we are doing our best with the work and are staying sober there is nothing more we can do if we are giving it our all. If we ask for alcohol addiction help, and go the extra mile by getting into a drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab program then we are right on track .instead of being hard on ourselves we should celebrate the new life we are starting. Your best is always good enough, because it comes from you, and you are always good enough. You may not be able to deliver someone else’s idea of the best, but the good news is that’s not your burden. You only need to fulfill your own potential, and as long as you remain true to that calling, and always do your best to fulfill your purpose, and stay sober you don’t need to expect anything more from yourself then you are capable of.
It’s easy to get tangled up with the idea of trying to be the best—the best parent, the best employee, the best child, the best sober person, or best friend. If we try to be the best, we run the risk of short-circuiting our originality because we are striving to fit into someone else’s vision of success. In addition, if everyone is striving for the same outcome, we lose out on creativity, diversity, and visionary alternatives to the way things are done. On another note, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but examining where this feeling comes from is important because wanting to be better than others is our ego coming into play. This is something that can be extremely destructive to alcoholics.
Alcohol Addiction Help and a Spiritual Experience
“If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as man should by the will, were not sufficient, they failed utterly.” We Agnostics pg 44-45 from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
As alcoholics, it’s not that we lack morals. We are simply doing what we need to do to get our “medicine” so we can get “well”. If alcoholism could be cured by better morals or better philosophy then we would all straighten our act up and try this new approach. We would all hold ourselves to a higher moral standard that a lot of us in recovery do. But it’s not enough; we must experience an entire physic change through alcohol addiction help. We must turn our lives around and have a spiritual experience as a result of the work we do. This work can be done in many environments from AA to 30 day rehabs. If you are unsure what type of environment would work best for you, a good place to start is by looking up FAQs about rehab and recovery Los Angeles to get a better idea of what each place has to offer and find out what’s the best fit for you or your loved one(s).