Chronic Apologies and Self-Esteem

Apologizing chronically can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much self-worth.

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. Especially alcoholics. Prior to receiving alcohol addiction help we often are guilt ridden for everything we have done to ourselves and others. While we should feel a certain level of remorse and want to rectify it we should not continue to wallow in the guilt. These feelings of self-pity, resentment, self-hatred, and guilt do not serve us. They do not serve us when it comes to the work we are trying to do in a 30 day rehab program, they will not serve us in meetings, and they will not serve us if we are in or decide to go to a drug addiction detox. These feelings can lead us to a place of powerlessness and hopelessness. In these places there is little ability to take positive action because we are not living in the solution. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate.

Taking Care of Yourself in Sobriety

Our natural state of being is vibrant, happy to be alive especially after getting alcohol addiction help and beginning our journey on the path of sobriety. Yet, there can be times when we feel run down and worn out. This does not mean that we are lazy or unfit for the tasks in our lives or sobriety; it means that we need to recharge our batteries and find a way of keeping them charged. When we are new or even sober for a while it is not uncommon to spread ourselves too thin with service work. We are usually so excited to get the opportunity to help out and give back what was so freely given to us that we end up trying to do everything but if we are willing to delve deeper, we may discover that there is an underlying cause for our exhaustion. Perhaps it’s all the feelings that are coming up for us or all the work we have done when we go into a drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab. No matter what it is it is best that whenever you are feeling run down, take an honest look at how you have been thinking, feeling and acting. You will likely find a belief, behavior pattern or even a relationship that is out of alignment with who you really are. Perhaps you believe you have to be perfect at everything or you have been bending over backwards to get people to like you. Maybe you are dealing with mild depression or simply have too much on your plate right now. Perhaps it’s just the overwhelming feelings that come with first getting sober. There may also be people or situations in your life which are draining your energy. Once you get clear on the root cause, you can weed it out and better and take the next right action. The fact is if we don’t take care of ourselves we are useless to others. We are unable to be of service.so if you’re being of service and getting worn out it kind of defeats the purpose. From now on, try and listen to what your heart really wants. It may take meditation, or just a moment of silent tuning in to gain the clarity you need, but it is well worth the effort. When you know what you truly want to do, and honor that in all situations, you will find that you will no longer feel run down.

Hitting Rough Spots in Sobriety

Sometimes throughout our sobriety we might hit a few rough patches along the way. It may seem like it shouldn’t be happening or that it’s unfair. After all why did we seek alcohol addiction help if we were going to experience hard times? Why did we do the work, go to a 30 day rehab, or a drug addiction detox if it wasn’t going to be smooth sailing from then on out? The fact is that things that are or will come up are just a part of life. There is not a whole lot that one can do to change circumstance. We may find ourselves thinking that this is not what our lives should look like at x amount of years sober. Its times like this we need to remember that we didn’t get sober originally for the stuff, or for what we could get out of it. We got sober because we were trapped by our disease in this unbearable hell and many of us just wanted to be able to stop drinking. We need to remember that the only thing we are promised is that we can stop drinking if we do the work. so  all the other stuff like friends, cars, houses, jobs, happiness, joy, and peace are extra blessings that we should be grateful for. If we stay in gratitude we can stay out of self-pity. If we only want what we need then we will always have what we want. We will be able to see that we are blessed beyond belief to not only recover from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body but also to live this amazing life. We have been given a second chance!

Dropping Our Defenses and Making Change

We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. for example us as alcoholics are constantly seeking elevated moods usually through alcohol. We know we are powerless and have lost the ability to choose a different path even though we know it no longer works for us. We continue on, not knowing exactly how lost we were and how much damage drugs and alcohol did until we seek alcohol addiction help and get into a drug addiction detox or an affordable rehab. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because there is a spiritual solution as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth and hope that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to be free from the bondage of our addiction.

Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Especially when our drinking began to really take off and we started losing control. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us.

When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, as well as the true nature of our disease then we can begin to heal.

Addiction, Getting Sober, and Adding to the Story of Our Lives

Everything in our lives adds on to our story; it’s what we do with that story that matters…

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change but are powerless over. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, how to go about seeking alcohol addiction help, trying to figure out which drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab to go to, and we may even have given up. The fact is that every detail of our life has shaped and molded us, it either brings us closer to who we are and want to be or it keeps us further away from our ideal as alcoholics we often times do the same thing over and over again expecting different results when it comes to drugs and alcohol. This type of behavior can often leave us feeling helpless. However if we look at the story of our life there always seems to be some point in it when we were not dependent on alcohol…for example our childhood. For many of us there was a time in life where all was well before we got engulfed in our disease, and if we have an ounce of faith or willingness we find that that place is still accessible if we do the work. We can choose to stay sick and enslaved to this disease because of the lies we tell ourselves as a result of our story or we can draw from those times where we caught a glimpse of what life could be like if we weren’t dependent and decide to get help. The choice is yours.

Changing Your Life, Changing Your Story

Everything in our lives adds on to our story. It’s what we do with that story that matters…

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change but are powerless over. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, how to go about seeking alcohol addiction help, trying to figure out which drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab to go to, and we may even have given up. The fact is that every detail of our life has shaped and molded us, it either brings us closer to who we are and want to be or it keeps us further away from our ideal as alcoholics we often times do the same thing over and over again expecting different results when it comes to drugs and alcohol. This type of behavior can often leave us feeling helpless. However if we look at the story of our life there always seems to be some point in it when we were not dependent on alcohol…for example our childhood. For many of us there was a time in life where all was well before we got engulfed in our disease, and if we have an ounce of faith or willingness we find that that place is still accessible if we do the work. We can choose to stay sick and enslaved to this disease because of the lies we tell ourselves as a result of our story or we can draw from those times where we caught a glimpse of what life could be like if we weren’t dependent and decide to get help. The choice is yours.

The Alcoholic and Change

Change can enter our lives silently and this change can be just as important as change we have worked hard for.

We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we want to change. Often, this desire leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly without us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more or in our case he have managed to stay sober for a good chunk of time. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace. Sobriety can be like this too in the sense that we get a moment of clarity long enough to see that we need alcohol addiction help and need to change the way were living. Many of us don’t need to work hard in order to come to that conclusion. We simply have been living our lives, and as the disease progresses we see that things have to change and that carrying on like this is no longer working for us.

As alcoholics, sometimes we have relatively short attention spans, and easily lose sight of the fact that we need help or change our minds and go back to thinking that drugs and alcohol will work for us. That is why going to a drug addiction detox, meetings, or an affordable rehab are important things to consider. They serve as a constant reminder of where we came from and why we decided to get and stay sober. Despite seeking help from treatment facilities or outside help this doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change—they do. It’s just that

Learning From Our Experiences and Making Changes

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change especially when we are powerless over drugs and alcohol and don’t know how to ask for alcohol addiction help. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, and we may even have given up after several failed attempts at getting and staying sober. However, each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. We may even say out loud that we have tried and struggled and have not found a way, but that we are open to help, and that we intend to keep working to create change for ourselves. We may realize we need the assistance of a drug addiction detox or an affordable rehab. It can be done today, right now.

It is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made have added up to our current situation, but it is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed and stay sober. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices on how we plan on staying sober.

When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment and give ourselves a fighting chance. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we’ve been in that’s been keeping us stuck. Allow today to be the day to end cycles and enter into a new way of being.

Living Sober, Happily

After spending years attempting to escape reality through drug and alcohol abuse, it’s important that you begin your road to sobriety with a healthy dose of optimism and pride. Many hold on to the idea that drugs and alcohol are the root of all their problems… Thus implying that without it, life will be grand! However, many who achieve sobriety will often tell you that the road to happiness far more complex. In this entry, we will offer up some tips on maintaining a positive, healthy and sober mindset throughout your recovery and the lifetime to follow.

1 – Delve into the stresses, anger and hurt that pushed you towards your escape in the first place. Divorce, low self esteem, business failures and family illness are all very common triggers. Once you’ve made the decision to stop using, you may very well find these issues ready and waiting for you to deal with them properly. Recognizing these triggers and taking the initiative to deal with them head-on will help alleviate some of the risks associated with relapse, while providing you with a greater sense of purpose and understanding.

2 – Take time to appreciate your sobriety and the effort it took to get where you are today. Many people struggle for years to achieve even a small amount of freedom from drug and alcohol dependency. If you’ve already made it this far, it’s an achievement worth taking pride in. Do Not Let Go.

3 – Accept the fact that while you likely have regrets; they do not require that you not be entitled to the beauty, wonder and happiness life has to provide. You deserve to feel all the happiness, pain, love, and splendor on a grand scale… not through an alcoholic fog.

4 – Weed through the people in your life who keep your thoughts negative, while choosing to spend time with individuals who encourage your success. Find someone to inspire you… fictional or real… and fill your heart with a full dose of hope.

5 – Find your purpose in life! Pick up an instrument, take a class, exercise, dance, go for walks, laugh, love, and TRY NEW THINGS! Devoting yourself to something outside of your own being will place you in a mindset far from self-indulgence and excess.

If you’re interested in a new lease on life, love and happiness, our Above It All treatment center alcohol counselors are there to help. Give them a call today and find out what we can do to help you achieve the fulfilling, centered and sober life you deserve.

Doing Your Best vs. Being the Best

We often come into contact with the idea that our best isn’t good enough, as if this were actually possible. If we are doing our best with the work and are staying sober there is nothing more we can do if we are giving it our all. If we ask for alcohol addiction help, and go the extra mile by getting into a drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab program then we are right on track .instead of being hard on ourselves we should celebrate the new life we are starting. Your best is always good enough, because it comes from you, and you are always good enough. You may not be able to deliver someone else’s idea of the best, but the good news is that’s not your burden. You only need to fulfill your own potential, and as long as you remain true to that calling, and always do your best to fulfill your purpose, and stay sober you don’t need to expect anything more from yourself then you are capable of.

It’s easy to get tangled up with the idea of trying to be the best—the best parent, the best employee, the best child, the best sober person, or best friend. If we try to be the best, we run the risk of short-circuiting our originality because we are striving to fit into someone else’s vision of success. In addition, if everyone is striving for the same outcome, we lose out on creativity, diversity, and visionary alternatives to the way things are done. On another note, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but examining where this feeling comes from is important because wanting to be better than others is our ego coming into play. This is something that can be extremely destructive to alcoholics.