Trust God, Clean House, Work With Others: A Formula for Sobriety, Part 1

Working with others…This is perhaps the easiest and most fulfilling out of the three. After receiving alcohol addiction help, we then do the work either through a 30 day rehab program, AA, or a drug addiction detox, then comes the working with others part. There are many ways other than sponsorship to be of service. There are commitments at meetings, committees to volunteer for, as well as different areas of program that need help. With that being said sponsorship is one of the most rewarding as well as imperative parts to staying sober. Through sponsorship we get to give away what was so freely given to us. After we have started doing the work we can then take others through the steps and show newcomers precisely how we have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. If we can look back to when we were new and can recall the fear and discomfort that we experienced then hopefully we can approach this situation with patience, love, tolerance, and compassion. We get to walk through this together. Taking someone through the steps is important not only is it the thing that keeps the program going but it also teaches us how to show up, be accountable , work with our fellows ,keep our egos in check, and keeps us sober. There is nothing more rewarding then seeing someone you sponsor stay sober, know that you helped them achieve sobriety, and perhaps passed on some of the most valuable tools in life one can pass on.

“Do You Miss Drinking?”

It seems like a normal drinker’s favorite question to ask is “do you miss drinking”? The fact is prior to receiving alcohol addiction help, going to AA meetings and getting sober through the help of places such as a drug addiction detox, or 30 day rehab program for most of us the way we were living life was no longer working for us. Sure drinking was probably fun in the beginning but what we were doing prior to getting sober was not living but rather maintaining. We had to drink and we lost our power of choice. It became our “medicine.” So when asked do you miss drinking the first thought that usually comes to mind is what is there to miss? When alcoholics hit bottom it is usually after we have become enslaved to our addiction we are stuck in the bondage of self and it is definitely not anything worth missing. When we get cravings or find that we are missing getting loaded it is usually a result of the part of our brain being triggered that has poor memory recall. Normal drinkers would recoil from alcohol like a hot flame if they ever came close to experiencing what   we had prior to getting sober but not us. We seem to touch the “flame” and two minutes later we forget that once again alcohol had burned us and were back at it. We do this over and over again until we can no longer endure the torture. When we get sober we trade our previous life for a life of freedom, happiness, and joy when we do the work. It is life that is worth living and worth giving up our old ones for.

Feelings and Balance in Sobriety

When first getting alcohol addiction help and getting sober many feelings might come up for us. We might be flooded by feelings of fear surrounding many things such as entering into a 30 day rehab program, AA, a drug addiction detox, or just the idea of getting sober. We might also experience feelings of loss, sadness, excitement and happiness. The longer we stay sober the more our feelings balance out. However If we are stagnant in our steps and the work we do to stay sober those feelings of fear might return. It is not something that needs to be alarming but instead can serve as a reminder that we need step up and do more work or that perhaps something else needs to be changed. It does not mean we have to take a drink to deal with our feelings. It means we need to be aware of the way we are living our lives and the changes that need to be made in order to get out of those dark places. Many of us believe that sobriety is fragile and something that can be easily lost if we aren’t careful. While it is something that needs to be protected and cherished to a certain extent it is not necessarily fragile. There is a clear cut recipe for success in sobriety and it is available to everyone weather you’re in AA, or a treatment facility. There is a model laid out for us that shows us how we can permanently recover if we are willing to do the work and go to any lengths to achieve sobriety.

Remember, Sobriety is Fun!

During our journey we can become very serious, especially after seeking out alcohol addiction help and getting sober. it is important to remember to have fun along the way. Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as if fun isn’t important or near impossible when we are entering into a 30 day rehab program or a drug addiction detox. We tend to value step work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally important, light side of silliness and laughter. It is equally important to have fun in sobriety as it is to be serious about our sobriety.  We all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world and for living a happy and sober life. Laughter is good medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into our lives. Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves and sobriety so that we stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on step work, or take some time for introspection until our next round of fun begins.

Chronic Apologies and Self-Esteem

Apologizing chronically can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much self-worth.

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. Especially alcoholics. Prior to receiving alcohol addiction help we often are guilt ridden for everything we have done to ourselves and others. While we should feel a certain level of remorse and want to rectify it we should not continue to wallow in the guilt. These feelings of self-pity, resentment, self-hatred, and guilt do not serve us. They do not serve us when it comes to the work we are trying to do in a 30 day rehab program, they will not serve us in meetings, and they will not serve us if we are in or decide to go to a drug addiction detox. These feelings can lead us to a place of powerlessness and hopelessness. In these places there is little ability to take positive action because we are not living in the solution. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate.

Choices and Change in Sobriety

There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices, addictions, and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices, addictions, and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel bad—uneasy, unhappy, unsure. We might go so far as to label ourselves “bad” when a situation like this arises. We might think were bad because of the things we have done before seeking alcohol addiction help or because of our failed attempts at getting sober through a drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab program. These things do not make us bad, or weak it just means we have a disease of the mind body and spirit. Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions and sobriety.. An important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms. You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label you good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self as well as towards continuous sobriety or in the direction of stagnation, potential relapse or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.

Being Present in Life and Sobriety

When you decide to bring your full presence to your sober life, you may find that the entire experience is filled with new energy and happiness.

Being present in life begins before we even get out of bed. It starts with our intention to bring consciousness into everything we do, including those activities we do for sobriety. No matter what role you play, where you’re at or what you do…no matter if your in a drug addiction detox or a 30 day rehab program there is much to be gained by fully engaging in the tasks at hand. When you decide to bring your presence into your sober activities, you may find that the entire experience of sobriety is filled with new energy and life.

Sometimes we believe that when we step through the doors of meetings or step out into the “real” world, we cease being ourselves and start being someone else. Though people may depend on us to perform certain tasks, the truth is that we never stop being ourselves. The commitment to being a conscious, empowered person of integrity doesn’t stop and start with a split second. Our decision to be present for our own lives is what weaves together all of our experiences from the moment we wake up, throughout our entire day, and to the moment we turn off the lights at night.

Before leaving to go out into the world today, you can clear your energy and choose to step out with your best foot forward. We have sought out alcohol addiction help and because of that can really accomplish anything. Setting an intention in the morning can even help you stay present as your day unfolds. You might decide to find joy in every activity, complete all of your projects on time, or be truly helpful to your fellows. By being fully present, you will begin to radiate and people may begin to notice; they may even want to follow your lead. Whether you doing so-so or doing the work as long as its your best, do it with pride and be the best you can be.

Getting Out Of “If Only”

Sometimes we assign different people places, or things higher value than they are worth or put the responsibility of our well being off on other people, places, or things. We might say to ourselves “If only I sought alcohol addiction help sooner…If only I got that job I wanted, went to that 30 day rehab program, got those shoes, went to a drug addiction detox sooner, had the relationship I wanted with so and so, or was acknowledged by others the way I want to be then maybe I would be ok.” Well, what if we stopped thinking in terms of “if only” and started to create the life we want with positive self-talk and by taking responsibility We might begin to realize that we are ok. Who we are is enough. We are beautiful, unique in our own way, and loveable. We are finite fallible human beings and we are grand and magnificent in our own right and we all have a right to be here and be who we are. Eleanor Roosevelt once said “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Well if that is true and we go around feeling like we are not good enough at some point  then the question that deserves  the spotlight is not so much what if we got what we think we wanted but rather what are we doing to ourselves? Why do we pick apart and strip away the self-love we have even if we only do it a little? Furthermore how do we stop? We stop by living a life of love and tolerance. We stop by letting you be you and me be me and we stop by living an emotionally sober and freeing life. Get in touch with who you are, your shortcomings, and who you want to be. Love it and celebrate it!

Fatboy Slim on Recovery

Center stage, atop of gigantic glowing octopus, British DJ, Fatboy Slim reintroduced millions of worldwide viewers to “The Rockafeller Skank”. Rising to worldwide prominence in the late 90’s, Mr. Slim’s appearance at the 2012 London Olympic Games Closing Ceremonies would not appear a shock to many, had it not been on the heels of a difficult ‘bout with alcoholism.

Just prior to the performance, Fatboy Slim (real name: Norman Cook) spoke with media sources regarding his 2009 recovery and rehab experience:

“I gave up drinking three years and I’ve run Brighton Marathon… Everything you do is a lot easier to deal with when you go to bed after a show rather than party for two days.”

Fatboy Slim’s performance followed British comedian Russell Brand’s appearance on a psychedelic tour bus. Amidst a sold-out stadium, the vehicle was transformed into an illuminated octopus, as Fatboy Slim rose from the center to perform two of his better-known hits, ‘The Rockafeller Skank” and “Right Here, Right Now”.

Despite receiving 10 MTV Video Music Awards and 2 Brit Awards in previous years, the DJ is quick to say that he is uninterested in a return to the recording studio.

“I listen to current dance music and I think, do I even fit in here” I really don’t feel drawn to the studio. I much prefer to focus on DJing.”

In recent years, a great number of celebrities have shown difficulty kicking their respective habits under a watchful public eye. From movie and TV stars to musicians, one can only hope that a valuable lesson has been learned from repeat episodes of VH1’s Behind the Music and A&E’s Biography.

With the media focus affixed to ailing addicts and troubled celebs, it’s refreshing to find a story of triumph and determination among the wreckage. As younger generations often mimic the behaviors of their idols, the benefit of Norman Cook’s struggles and perseverance is not one to be taken lightly.

There will always be the potential for happy outcomes. There will always be obstacles on the way. How we choose to deal with these trials will ultimately make our goals sweeter once they are within our grasp. Regardless of where your journey currently keeps you, a commitment to perpetual betterment is one that will only serve you well. To sum up the point: You will get there… if only you want it.

If you or someone you know is evaluating recovery options, our Above It All addiction specialists are available to address your questions and concerns. Give us a call today, and find out how you can get on track towards the happy, fulfilling, and productive life you and your loved ones deserve. Your potential will thank you.

Taking Care of Yourself in Sobriety

Our natural state of being is vibrant, happy to be alive especially after getting alcohol addiction help and beginning our journey on the path of sobriety. Yet, there can be times when we feel run down and worn out. This does not mean that we are lazy or unfit for the tasks in our lives or sobriety; it means that we need to recharge our batteries and find a way of keeping them charged. When we are new or even sober for a while it is not uncommon to spread ourselves too thin with service work. We are usually so excited to get the opportunity to help out and give back what was so freely given to us that we end up trying to do everything but if we are willing to delve deeper, we may discover that there is an underlying cause for our exhaustion. Perhaps it’s all the feelings that are coming up for us or all the work we have done when we go into a drug addiction detox or 30 day rehab. No matter what it is it is best that whenever you are feeling run down, take an honest look at how you have been thinking, feeling and acting. You will likely find a belief, behavior pattern or even a relationship that is out of alignment with who you really are. Perhaps you believe you have to be perfect at everything or you have been bending over backwards to get people to like you. Maybe you are dealing with mild depression or simply have too much on your plate right now. Perhaps it’s just the overwhelming feelings that come with first getting sober. There may also be people or situations in your life which are draining your energy. Once you get clear on the root cause, you can weed it out and better and take the next right action. The fact is if we don’t take care of ourselves we are useless to others. We are unable to be of service.so if you’re being of service and getting worn out it kind of defeats the purpose. From now on, try and listen to what your heart really wants. It may take meditation, or just a moment of silent tuning in to gain the clarity you need, but it is well worth the effort. When you know what you truly want to do, and honor that in all situations, you will find that you will no longer feel run down.